Unanswered [1] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 2


IELTS Writing Task 2: Is the Internet "Making Us Stupid"?



Iris HSIEH 2 / 2  
Oct 8, 2022   #1

Is the Internet "Making Us Stupid"?


Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Write at least 250 words.


Nowadays, it is possible for people to go out without cellphones. The internet makes our life easier and more convenient in every simple task, such as finding ways, reserving a table and even seeing a doctor. That is, people rely on their smartphones to solve most of the problems in living than in the past days. It is obvious that the internet makes us smarter but also degrades our independent thinking in the long term.

The curiosity is decreased by the online packaged information, when people are getting used to looking for the answer on the searching engine website. It is common that all we need information can be found on the internet, with the anonymous author, social media or business campaigns; however, it doesn't mean those contents are correct. By knowing these information with a simple click on the phone, it is efficient and fast to learn but no one will spend time solving the real problems simultaneously. That is, the process of finding solutions may be ignored. Although the internet provides accessible information, it actually harms the brainstorming process.

Misleading information leads to the crisis of critical thinking in every aspect of life. Everyone knows the online resource varies thoughts in our minds; nevertheless the exposure of messages changes our conception and norms. For instance, the news of the election for city mayors in 2018, the candidate of Taipei city mayor used strategies on social media to win the support of the young generation. In that period of time, people see all the advertising, policy discussion and videos covered with hopeful impressions, gradually lose their own viewpoints. The internet accelerated the message spreading and leads to a kind of brainwashing easily than the traditional marketing method. Therefore the misleading messages online makes people have difficulties in distinguish the accuracy and ambiguity, the influential impression planted in our mind become stereotype in the future.

In conclusion, the disadvantage of the internet outweighs the benefits for our human intelligence. While people have no interests in finding new ideas in life, it is hard to say the society can be improved in the near future. Also, the media exposure conveys the phenomenon of whether the audience needs to choose information or not by critical thinking.

Holt  Educational Consultant - / 15384  
Oct 9, 2022   #2
The writer has shown that there was no double checking of the information written prior to the submission of this essay for grading. The prompt restatement paragraph and writer's opinion presentation are conflicting and therefore, confuses the examiener as to what the real opinion of the writer is. For specificity, refer to the following sections of the aforementioned text:

it is possible for people to go out without cellphones.

people rely on their smartphones

This is the conflict of interest that immediately creates a failing TA score and GRA score. How can it be possible for people to not bring their phones with them and yet, rely on their cellphones? See the problem in the discussion presentation? The essay has already failed the most important pre-scoring aspects at this point that will prevent this essay from receiving a passing score.


Home / Writing Feedback / IELTS Writing Task 2: Is the Internet "Making Us Stupid"?
Do You Need
Academic Writing
or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳

Academic AI Writer:
Custom AI Writer ◳