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Ielts Writing Task 1: Internet users as percentage of population 1999 - 2009

Alexdangphan 1 / 1  
Jul 18, 2018   #1

proportion of Internet usage

The line graph shows the percentage of Internet users in three countries from 1999 to 2009

The line graph indicates the proportion of people who had access to the Internet in three countries during the period between 1999 and 2009.

It is evident that the period from 1999 to 2009 saw a marked increase in the percentage of people using the Internet in each country. Overall, there was a much larger percentage of Americans and Canadians having Internet access compared to Mexicans, and the Canadians experienced the fastest rate of Internet usage growth.

At the beginning of the observed period, the proportion of Americans who used the Internet was approximately 20%. Meanwhile, the figures for Canada and Mexico were lower, at 10% and 5% respectively. In 2005, the percentage of Americans and Canadians accessing the Internet was at the same level of nearly 70% whilst the figure for Mexicans reached just over 20%.

In 2009, the highest proportion of Internet usage was in Canada with almost 100% of Canadians having access to the Internet in comparision with about 80% of Americans and only 40% of Mexicans.

Holt  Educational Consultant - / 14,662 4753  
Jul 19, 2018   #2
My, good work on the essay. You have covered all of the obvious and important points. Your essay is clear and easy to understand. You have a simple analysis of the chart as presented to you for reporting. These are the positive aspects of your report. Now for the points for improvement and notes for correction.

First up, the opening summary. You indicated the type of illustration you were provided with and the fact that there are 3 countries presented for comparison. As part of the required data, you must also indicate the names of the countries as these are all part of the summarized information. In this instance, it was more important to mention the countries in the summary overview rather than in the trending statement. While the mention of the citizens of these countries helped your trending presentation, you should have first indicated the countries in the overview in order to give the reader an introduction to the upcoming discussion in a more appropriate manner. You should have transitioned into your trending statement that stated the citizenships of each country separately from the countries indicated in the graph since the citizenships were not really directly referred to. Instead, it was the country that was mentioned for each one.

Next up, you overlooked certain comparison points in the essay. For example, overlapped in terms of growth in 2002 at approximately 25% growth (not an actual reference, just a sample statement). And in 2006, Canada and the USA touched on almost the same growth rate as well as the graph indicates touching lines, meaning the growth rate for these two countries were at par or similar to one another.

Small but detailed comparison points can help you increase your TA score and offer you a better C&C, and GRA score as well. Coming in with a word count of 170 means that you will allow yourself some time to actually revise and edit the content of your essay. Try to stay within that word count range for your succeeding tests. Remember, writing a long essay will not get you a good score but writing a moderate length essay that offers valuable information will help you increase your overall score. It's not about the word count but rather the quality of the work submitted that will help you pass the test.
OP Alexdangphan 1 / 1  
Jul 19, 2018   #3
Thank you for your feedback. I've just practiced writing essays recently and your advice is truly helpful to me!!!

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