The issue of knives in general and at school - an opinion/letter to the editor

I have write an opinion/letter to the editor about the issue "knives in school".

This is my plan:

Intro: address the issue, why is it bad?
Paragraph 1: Talk about knives in general, give some stats
Paragraph 2: Talk about knives in school. What is the issue? Few stats. Examples
Paragraph 3: A possible solution - I think that the Australian community are resorting to violence to solve conflicts. So if we have a crackdown on weapons and fix this thinking it may just work

Conclusion.

This is what I have so far:

Hello everyone! Today I will be talking about an issue that is plaguing the Australian community, the issue is knives. The amount of knife attacks in the community has risen dramatically to an astonishing rate. What is more alarming is that a lot of attacks are happening in schools - a place where we are meant to feel safe! I think we should do something to

First paragraph:
To give you an idea how bad this issue is and how much it is rising, we have to look at the stats. According to the latest figures, the rate of robberies fell 17 percent after being adjusted for population. However, the number of robberies in which a knife was used, threatened or displayed rose 9.1 percent up to around 800 and robberies with an axe or tomahawk were up by 260 percent! If these figures don't sound crazy enough, police caught 58 children aged 10 to 14 with knives or bladed weapons, a 45 percent increase, and 287 teens aged 15 to 19. When we have half the knife robberies conducted by teenage kids, it proves that the kid and anyone who has direct responsibility for their actions are all idiots and as a community we should look down upon them! Honestly, these parents have to do something about their kids so they don't become unless people that contribute nothing to society. No one cares if your child thinks carrying a knife will protect him, the truth is that YOU know it is wrong and it is YOUR (not anyone else's) responsibility to deal with him/her correctly. The amount of stories I hear about knife attacks on the news and in the papers is just incredible, it is a disgrace that you need to factor in being assaulted or killed if you plan a night out in the city!

Solution para:
I think this issue is important and should be addressed quickly, I have created a few solutions that I think will help counter this dreadful issue. It might be simplistic but surely the solution to the increasing amount of knife attacks is to have a massive crackdown on anyone suspected of carrying such weapons and put them in jail! This is probably the best method in cracking down on knife holders. Seriously, if you are roaming around the city at night wielding a knife, it is not because you are going to your grandmother's house to help her chop the veges, it is because you want to be violent, you want to kill! We need ZERO TOLERANCE laws on people who are carrying these weapons, don't give them stupid fines, PUT THEM IN JAIL, let them learn so they are not just another piece of garbage that no one likes.

Any feedback? It is not complete yet but I want to see if I'm headed in the right direction first.

Thanks in advance!

Sorry for the double post but I forgot to mention something.

In this, I wanted to be aggressive as possible (a persuasive technique), as a result, I have started to use colloquial language like "idiot". Is this okay for a letter to the editor?

A few tips:
-Avoid overusing pronouns; you're writing a letter so it's okay to use them here as opposed to an essay, but don't overdo it

-More statistics; your first paragraph should include more specific statistics about the problem; also, avoid using statistics that contradict your thesis statement in the first paragraph, perhaps introduce them later

-Don't start off with "Hello everyone!"; it's a far too informal start for an otherwise serious letter
-Avoid use of words like "idiot" and "stupid"; I understand that you want to sound angry, but these words actually distract the reader from the problem at hand; try instead to control your anger throughout your writing, it's more sophisticated and people will take you and what you're saying more seriously

Thanks a lot Anthony! Your help is appreciated!

The amount number of knife attacks in the community has risen dramatically at an astonishing rate.

...the kid and anyone who has direct responsibility for their actions are all idiots --- the problem is not with using the word. The problem is that it is speculative and a weak argument. It is better to say only things you can substantiate. Instead of speculating that they are idiots, stick to the facts and say "we can see that many people will make bad decisions if given the opportunity..."

Honestly, these parents have to do something about their kids so they don't become unless people that contribute nothing to society. again, you weaken your argument here by seeming to lose your cool and rant about it. It is better to stick to the facts.

I think this issue is important and should be addressed quickly, I have created want to propose a few solutions that I think will help counter this dreadful issue. ...

I like this part:
... to help her chop the veggies ; it is because you want to be violent, you want to kill!--- again, though, this is speculative. Many people carry knives for self-defense and do not want to kill anyone. So, it weakens your argument when you say this. Never say anything that anyone can contradict and prove to be unreasonable, or you lose your credibility.

In general, this is great!! Maybe you have to be more specific with the solution you propose... Some knives must remain legal, after all.