Unanswered [2] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 4


GRE issue essay (45min) It is always an individual who is the impetus for innovation



kgb66 4 / 12  
Sep 9, 2010   #1
essay prompt =
"It is always an individual who is the impetus for innovation; the details may be worked out by a team, but true innovation results from the enterprise and unique perception of an individual."

Essay.

It is true that ideas from one person may be molded and shaped by others, but the seminal idea must originate from somewhere and it is this individual's concept that drives innovation.

"If you can imagine it - it will be possible" it's not only a catchy slogan for slick advertisers to use when selling products that tap into the creative drive of humanity, but also a reality that has driven inventors for centuries. From the first person who wished to ford an stream that was too impossibly cold or deep to wade through, to the person able to toil at work late into the night under an incandescent lamp. All the beginnings of such realities, that we call common place today, began with the thoughts of a lone individual.

In the case of the frigid waters, one can imagine the sole human standing on the banks of an ancient river wishing to pass over, for whatever treasures they knew of or imagined, on the other shore. The sight of a log floating by may have been the impetus for the first wooden canoe, or it could have been a bloated animal floating by that set the stage for even lighter water craft made from leather. In either case, naught would have come from such sights had not the person been dreaming by the shore of what could be. This idea may have returned to a village of others who assisted with design, prototypes and test runs, yet the original thought began with that dreamer on the wrong shore.

Today we think little of spending hours awake at night, busy with activities made possible due to light generated by electric lamps. However, were it not for the inquisitive mind of Thomas Edison who invented the light bulb, we may still have our activities largely dictated by natural light or fire. Though it is possible another may have arrived at Edison's discovery, we would still be indebted to the imagination of that one person. Today, there are many forms of the light bulb. The average North American household can easily boast a collection of them, ranging from halogens in pot lights, disseminating brilliance on art works; led's, that illuminate houses during the darkest months; and fluorescent bulbs that assist us with our toiling in the garage over a work bench. Each example represents the addition of layers of detail that the original concept was planned to deliver.

In short, the creative spirit of humanity drives us into the future, the road behind paved with the brilliance of other imaginations. We are not only able to cross rivers, but oceans. Details of how a larger vessel design would work on the seas were built by minds adding to the first river crossing concept. Though Edison's contributions, we are able to plan for tomorrows delights late into the evening. All due to the perception of lone individuals who shared ideas and had them expanded upon.

Kapayapaanify1 6 / 19  
Sep 9, 2010   #2
This is a really really good piece of writing. Like your previous essay, I'v enjoyed it to the fullest. The part about the canoe was awesome :)

You have a comfortable style of writing which I admire alot, and it depicts ur swiftness of mind.

Please read my essay on the similar prompt, your comments on it will be very valuable for me.
Take care
donrocks 5 / 120  
Sep 9, 2010   #3
hello... i am quite confused by the concept you want to say in the essay.
1)Where is the personal touch? That is very essential. This essay prompt has to be more than words. Write maybe how you have experienced this. something you have to add so that it seems your personal work and not of someone else. Basic motto of essay req. by colleges is understanding you as a person and this essay sheds no light on you.

2) 'sick adv.' lets avoid being vehement here. what is the need of this line. It is a unhelpful detail to the essay that might make someone frown. Anyway, you could write something about yourself in the context of essay.

Work on the essay content and post it up again. hope this helps... :)
EF_Kevin 8 / 13053  
Sep 11, 2010   #4
Though Edison's contributions, we are able to plan for tomorrow's delights late into the evening.

This is an incomplete sentence: All due to the perception of lone individuals who shared ideas and had them expanded upon.

You can fix it by combining them:
Though Edison's contributions, we are able to plan for tomorrow's delights late into the evening -- all due to the perception of lone individuals who shared ideas and had them expanded upon.

I agree with your argument!

This essay is solid, but how could it be even better? Whenever possible, refute the counterargument. That means you should spend a paragraph explaining the argument someone would make if they wanted to disagree with you and tell why your reasoning is more correct. Do you know what I mean?

:-)


Home / Writing Feedback / GRE issue essay (45min) It is always an individual who is the impetus for innovation
Do You Need
Academic Writing
or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳

Academic AI Writer:
Custom AI Writer ◳