Hello~ and welcome to our wonderful world :D
As far as I am concerned,
For that it is those previously nonmainstream forms of art that had ultimately altered and pushed forward the art.
continue this with the previous sentence. Otherwise, it
would seem to appear to beIS
an incomplete phrase/clause.
I guess your way of writing and elucidating your ideas is simply
different from mine.
we can safely assume that it is in possession of some kind of value to people.
Can you say, "we can safely assume that has some value to some
For example, the king of pop, Michael Jackson, who had stayed on the top of the best-sellers for decades, was world-known because his music was understandable to most people.
I want to point this out simply because you have too many commas in there. You could rephrase it, "For example, Michael Jackson, who had stayed on the top of the best-sellers <list?> for decades, was world-known as the king of pop because..."
other notes about this paragraph, I don't understand your usage of the - (dash?) in the last sentence; I don't quite understand the reasoning, and if I do, it's rather roundabout. You're saying MJ's music has value because people can associate with it, but you're not saying it directly.
does it necessarily has the merit to bring people joy and happiness?
Are you making up a new question?
So I get your idea, which is a good thing, but you're quite vitriolic towards the subject:
irresponsible writers who will do anything for their survival.
I assume you are inferring p0rn/drugs? if you don't pinpoint it down to something specific, you'll be throwing flames where you don't want to...
I'm confused what you mean by "considerations"
and altered the world.
I hope this is true; he may have changed the art world...
So, in consideration of your essay written here, I understand your overall thesis, but try to make it clearer in the introduction. I like the use of examples. Talk more about them, especially about the latter ones. Also, make sure tenses are consistent. Singular subjects with singular verbs, plural with plural.
The most important issue you have to work on is making sure you don't trip yourself. Answer the question asked. Don't make overly strong remarks without supporting them. You did support a few, but others were left with little supportive reasoning.