Japan was the leader when it comes annual income and life expectancy - IELTS table

The table provides a breakdown information of social and economic indicators for four countries which are Canada, Japan, Peru and Zaire, in 1994. If analyzed, the data suggests that Japan was the leader when it comes annual income and life expectancy, whereas Canada took the first place of daily calories per person. In addition, Japan and Canada both had the same and the highest adult literacy rate.

The annual income of Japan in 1994 stood at 15760 $, while this value was huger than Canada's one for almost 4000 $. The life expectancy, however, both had an insignificant gap, Japan's life expectancy at birth was 78 and Canada was less than 2 years. Canada managed to surpass the daily calories per person in Japan which was 2846, with its 3326. This two under review country had the same Adult literacy rate which was 99 percent.

Another two countries had the opposite story, the annual income of Peru was 160, whilst Zaire had only 130. The life expectancy at birth in these two countries which are Peru and Zaire were quite low, 51 and 47 only. The daily calorie supply per person of two countries were also terrifying, Peru was recorded as 1927 and Zaire even worse, which is 1749. It seemed like Peru's adult literacy rate equaled to two Zaire combined, which was 68 percent.

Indicators Canada Japan Peru Zaire
Annual income per person (in $US) 11100 15760 160 130
Life expectancy at birth 76 78 51 47
Daily calorie supply per person 3326 2846 1927 1749
Adult literacy rate (%) 99 99 68 34

Please provide me with some useful advice!

Hello, a few grammar suggestions have been made below.

IfWhen analyzed, thehistorical data suggests that Japan was the leader when it comesin annual income and life expectancy, whereas Canada took the first place ofranked highest in daily calories per person. In addition, Japan and Canada both had the same and the highest adult literacy rate. Japan's 1994The annual income of Japan in 1994 stood atwas 15760$, while this value was huger thancompared to Canada's one for almost 4000$. The life expectancy, however, both had an insignificant gap, Japan's life expectancy at birth was 78 and Canada was less than 2 years.(The sentence in bold is confusing. A better choice might be: The life expectancy between Japan and Canada had significant gaps as 78 and 2 years respectively.) Canada ranked higher than Japan inmanaged to surpass the3326 daily calories per person compared to 2846 in Japan. which was 2846, with its 3326.This two under review country had the same Adult literacy rate which was 99 percent.(The sentence in bold is unclear. Suggestion: Both Japan and Canada reported 99% in adult literacy.)

The following is confusing since you've focused on Japan and Canada and now print in Peru and Zaire. The they are part of the overall countries comparison, you need to start the first paragraph with clarification on which countries you will be reviewing.

Another two countries had the opposite story, the annual income of Peru was 160, whilst Zaire had only 130. (You jumped from adult literacy to life expectancy. If you need these two countries to be included, incorporate this data in the same paragraph as Japan and Canada's life expectancy, adult literacy, etc. The same premise applies to the rest of this paragraph. It will make the overall presentation of your data more cohesive.) The life expectancy at birth in these two countries which are Peru and Zaire were quite low, 51 and 47 only. The daily calorie supply per person of two countries were also terrifying, Peru was recorded as 1927 and Zaire even worse, which is 1749. It seemed like Peru's adult literacy rate equaled to two Zaire combined, which was 68 percent.

-----------------

Best of luck! :)