ielts task1 Japanese travel abroad

The graphs describe the amount of Japanese travel abroad in the period of 1985 to 1995 and the percentage of Australia account for Japanese tourist market in these ten years.

As we can see from the first bar chart the figure of Japanese tourists travel abroad shows clearly upward trend, started at 5 millions in 1985 then peaking at 15 million in 1995 with steadily rose.

It shows a similar pattern in the second graph, which can see that the percentage of Japanese traveled to Australia from 0% in 1985 shoot up to about 4.7% in 1988.In following years, It reached the highest point at 6.2% in 1993 after declined to around 4.1% in 1989. After that ,having slightly decreasing until end of 6% in 1994.

To sum up, there are not only remarkable improvement in Japanese oversea tourism but also promote Australia's share of Japan's tourist market during 1985 to 1995.

• 
  321.jpg
  

Your essay about graph 2 is good, and clear. However, I think you should concentrate more on graph 1, too. Well, it can get 6 or 6.5, I guess

the number of Japanese travelling overseas


the percentage of Japanese tourists visiting Australia


then rose steadily prior to reaching a peak of 15 million in 1995


in which


after declining to


After that, the figure decreased slightly to finish the period at 6%.

yes.... "number of people" and not "amount of people"


.... you need to re-phrase this;
The first graph illustrates the number of Japanese travelling abroad between 1985 to 1995. The second graph illustrates the Australia's market share of Japanese travels during the same period.


Add a little more details for the first graph.