Hi， I am wondering what can be improved about my essay, especially words and sentences.
topic:Do you think that young people should take several different kinds of jobs before they take a career in a long term?
Young people have varieties plans about their take a long term careers. Some people schedule a further study, some take professional training into their plans, and some just would like to get experience by working. While, we should not lose sight of the fact that people in a growing number prefer to try several different kinds of jobs before they take a career in a long time. Its benefits, in my opinion, overweigh injury.
Part-time job brings the "street smart" to the young people who maybe just have graduated from universities where they devote themselves into knowledge yet lack social skills. These young people can improve their ability of advertising themselves and build up their confidences through large number of interviews. Therefore, when facing obstacles in the long-term career, they can overcome the difficulties without a panic. The complex and sophisticated environment in diversity jobs will also give them a good taste of world out of the "bubble", where they learn to communicate, persuade and make compromise. It should not be even slightly surprising that students with social skills acquired from those jobs enjoy a common comfortableness of dealing with the colleagues, the boss in their future career.
Another advantage is that people can expand their social circle. People who have only one job live lives narrowed down to the single field composed by coworkers, bosses, and customers. However, trying different jobs is a great opportunity for them to get to know more people who probably even have nothing in common with them. Also, they have chance to make friends with persons in different occupation, who are helpful for their development. For example, an advertiser who used to work in a newspaper office has more chances to get a vacant on newspaper.
Besides, an obvious effect is that people might find their true interest by trying different jobs. Just as Law Vernon said, experience is a hard teacher because she gives the test first, the lesson afterwards. People hunt for jobs for many reasons, and most of them are oriented to making money, or raising family. They rarely take their interest into their account. Of course, some people even don't know their favorite career. For example, by trying different jobs, a music enthusiast may find s/he prefers to be a street performer, which brings him or her sense of success, rather than to be a music teacher.
So, it is presumptuous to judge whether a person should take several different kinds of jobs according to the salary, job security. The argument can be answered by the meaningful skills, increased experience and interest.
topic:Do you think that young people should take several different kinds of jobs before they take a career in a long term?
Young people have varieties plans about their take a long term careers. Some people schedule a further study, some take professional training into their plans, and some just would like to get experience by working. While, we should not lose sight of the fact that people in a growing number prefer to try several different kinds of jobs before they take a career in a long time. Its benefits, in my opinion, overweigh injury.
Part-time job brings the "street smart" to the young people who maybe just have graduated from universities where they devote themselves into knowledge yet lack social skills. These young people can improve their ability of advertising themselves and build up their confidences through large number of interviews. Therefore, when facing obstacles in the long-term career, they can overcome the difficulties without a panic. The complex and sophisticated environment in diversity jobs will also give them a good taste of world out of the "bubble", where they learn to communicate, persuade and make compromise. It should not be even slightly surprising that students with social skills acquired from those jobs enjoy a common comfortableness of dealing with the colleagues, the boss in their future career.
Another advantage is that people can expand their social circle. People who have only one job live lives narrowed down to the single field composed by coworkers, bosses, and customers. However, trying different jobs is a great opportunity for them to get to know more people who probably even have nothing in common with them. Also, they have chance to make friends with persons in different occupation, who are helpful for their development. For example, an advertiser who used to work in a newspaper office has more chances to get a vacant on newspaper.
Besides, an obvious effect is that people might find their true interest by trying different jobs. Just as Law Vernon said, experience is a hard teacher because she gives the test first, the lesson afterwards. People hunt for jobs for many reasons, and most of them are oriented to making money, or raising family. They rarely take their interest into their account. Of course, some people even don't know their favorite career. For example, by trying different jobs, a music enthusiast may find s/he prefers to be a street performer, which brings him or her sense of success, rather than to be a music teacher.
So, it is presumptuous to judge whether a person should take several different kinds of jobs according to the salary, job security. The argument can be answered by the meaningful skills, increased experience and interest.