Unanswered [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 5


Life in a small village makes people more enjoyable doing their daily activities than in a huge city



pujakurniawan19 9 / 13  
Jun 18, 2016   #1
In the past most people lived in small villages where everyone knew everyone else. Nowadays, most people live in large cities where they only know a few people in their area. What do you think were advantages and disadvantages of living in small community?

One time, the majority of extraordinary commune spent all of their lives in small villages. They lived with suitable social life where knew each others. Currently, most people live in large cities that change their culture especially they just know a few among all of the communities. There are the merits and demerits of living in a small village and further in this case.

To begin with, some resident in a village lived more dependent on one another. They usually did work together especially social working like community self-help. The people had pay attention each other when a part of them needed a help. Taking an example, if a person got illness, his neighborhood could give assistance freely. This condition drawn excellent tolerance among people. As a result, living in small village make the people more enjoyable than in a big city.

Apparently, the downside of living in a small village is the people cannot access to enough infrastructure such as education and public infrastructure. This case sometimes makes their live in deficiency in improve self-skill. Some of them have not skill to develop their life to be better. As a result a part of people in village in poverty line.

Ultimately, live in small village causes people more enjoyable doing their daily activities than in a huge city. Despite this, live in this place would raise some disadvantages. Where possible, the local government should build public facility and education facility so that give more livability in the small village.

zakitauhid25 4 / 3  
Jun 18, 2016   #2
They lived with suitable social lifefriendly neighborhood where knew each others.
There are the merits and demerits of living in a small villageThere are benefits and drawbacks of living in a small community and further in this case.
faisalrachmn 5 / 5  
Jun 18, 2016   #3
Some of them have not skill to develop their life to be better. For example, [.........] . As a result ...
from your third paragraph will better if you put an example
justivy03 - / 2265  
Jun 24, 2016   #4
Hi Puja, I hope my suggestions are not too late.

- One time, theFor once, majority
- of extraordinary communeof the people spent
- changeinfluenced ( I believe this is a more appropriate word to describe your idea )
- they just know a few among all of the communitiesbecause they are quiet ignorant or should I say innocent . - There are the merits and demerits of

- living in a small village andthat will be further discussed in this case.

- residents in a village
- lived more dependent onto one another.
- They usually did work together especially

- thethat people cannot access
- to enough infrastructure such

- public facilityinfrastructure and
- educational facility
- so that give more livabilityto sustain the living condition in the small village.

There you have it Puja, so far, your writing has improved from your previous projects, however, you still need to focus on constructing your sentences.
Titus14 5 / 9  
Jun 27, 2016   #5
Hi!
I have some suggestions for you, though I'm not a native English speaker, I'd still like to point out some problems I've observed from your essay.

I personally think you are using to much sentences that begin with "They" and "This".
If this is an academic writing, I'd suggest you to use more synonyms.
For example, the word 'people' and 'village' appears too many times.
You may use words such as 'villagers', 'rural area'. etc to replace some of your current words.


Home / Writing Feedback / Life in a small village makes people more enjoyable doing their daily activities than in a huge city
ⓘ Need Writing or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms for professional help:

Best Writing Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳