Loneliness is a complex and usually unpleasant emotional response

hello guys, this is my very first essay on essayforum and i hope that you can comment on my mistakes and my language. Thanks in advance

A lonely girl

Loneliness is a complex and usually unpleasant emotional response to isolation or lack of companionship. When a person is lonely, he/she is highly unsociable. There are also instances when a person feels lonely even if he/she is surrounded by caring people. In this case, that person is emotionally disturbed or has received a major shock. Anne"s loneliness was classified as the latter.

Anne was my cousin and also a good friend. She was a bright student who was smart and intelligent. Full of potential, Anne was always good in everything that she takes part. She never gives up and her determination was hard to match. Anne"s friendly nature is a surefire attribute to make friends. To me, she was the shining star in a night full of stars.Anne was particularly close to her mother. Their relationship seemed more of a best friend type than a mother-daughter type. In the presence of her mother, Anne always smiles and never once has her mother left her alone. It was certainly tough for them to be apart even if its just for one day. That shows how close they were to each other.

Unfortunately, Anne"s mother passed away in an accident when she was just 11. To Anne, the incident was like a shattering glass. It left a huge gap in her heart and and nobody was able to fill that gap. Everyone including me tried to cheer her up but no one succeeded. In the first few months of her post-mother era, Anne rarely smiled and talked. She had a despairing look in her eyes that shocked everyone at school. The once cheerful Anne who would find it hard to keep quiet was not talking at all. All of us who knew her hoped that she would get over the accident and move on.

Eventually, time worked its magic and she was back to how she was before that dreaded incident. However, I still have a feeling that her loneliness is yet to meet its end because whenever I look into her eyes, I see nothing but sadness and sorrow.

The opening is too long. Maybe better if you cut into your topic more directly.
She was a bright student who was smart and intelligent ===== "She was a bright brillent student "
Anne was always good in everything that she takestook part in .

What is the purpose of this essay? It is good if you mention that in your title itself. Also, you need to have a more descriptive and meaningful title in the subject field when you open a new thread. This title is attended by us . Include your prompt or topic on top of the essay so that others get a better idea about your writing. This essay should have been opened in Writing Feedback forum too. (moved from Undergraduate to Writing Feedback)

I don't understand the connection here. Well, a person can feel lonely at times, but that person may be a very sociable character. However, a person who has spent a lonely life, may become unsociable due to lack of social experiences. I think you need to attend to this sentence to tell the reader what exactly you try to mean. I do not get a clear idea from that sentence :(

Full of potential, Anne was always good in everything that she takestook part.
To me, she was the shiningbrightest star in a night full of stars

Pahan
Yup i understand what you mean. I did not write that sentence based on logical thinking but it was something that was directly conveyed from my mind. I was desperate for some opinions and i failed to see my mistakes and also, thank you for your suggestions. ill make sure that i jot down your point and ill also portray my ideas clearly from now onwards.