Unanswered [7] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 3


Whether luck is important to success? TOEFL



Selaf 1 / 3  
Apr 23, 2017   #1
Do you agree or disagree with this statement: When people success, it is because of hard working, luck has noting to with success.

justifying the luck in a person' success



The word diligence is always associated with success. However, none of us can plead ignorance the importance of luck in one's success, for there are a vast array of cases prove it.

First, we can not conceal the fact that a piece of luck plays an essential role in discoveries or inventions. Alexander Fleming, the discoverer of penicillin, is just such a person. He has experimented on antibiotic for almost nine years, but the idea of penicillin didn't occur to him until he saw the mildew on a chunk of cheese by chance. Luck translates consecutive laborious work into a great discovery.

What is more, the importance of luck can also be justified on the ground of rising one to fame. Let us consider young authors. It is anything but easy for them to be known by public: They make every endeavor to improve their writing skill. The pressure of life bears down on them, pushing their to wrest a living from taking menial jobs. It seems that rise to fame overnight is a jam tomorrow. But one day, everything changes. The author meets an editor who loves his essay at the right time and the right place, or he gets a piece of his work published and suddenly attracts people's interest. Years of hard-working bring the author to the doorway of success, but good luck eventually help him reap success.

Last but not the least, the smile from Lady Luck help many people secure job. After years of conditioning, most of us have developed an unshakable faith in the power of luck in job finding. Has this ever happened to you? Have you ever had nothing better to do than wonder on the street? Have you ever sent resumes to a tremendous number of companies and gotten no reply? But with the help of luck, a job hunter may reckon your resume carefully rather than just throw it to rubbish bin, which makes everything different. So powerful is the luck that we are increasing aware of its impact.

What I feel oblige to clarify is hard work is also inseparable from success. However, hard work without luck always lead to nothing. So that we should summon our courage to deal with troublesome study or work, but we can still cherish the hope that one day we can be amply rewarded by the Lady Luck.

Thank you for rectifying my essay.

Holt  Educational Consultant - / 15357  
Apr 23, 2017   #2
Selaf, here is the thing, with an opinion essay asking you to disagree or agree with a statement, you actually need to refer to the instruction in your opening sentence by saying either "I fully agree" or "I totally disagree" or a variation of such sentences. Without this actual phrase located towards the end of your opening statement, your essay can be considered non prompt compliant or even, prompt deviant, which would be worse because that means you did not understand the instructions that were given to you in the essay discussion. The opening statement that you have doesn't properly reflect the prompt requirement because it does not offer a proper paraphrasing of the prompt topic for discussion. This would have been part of the outline discussion that is part of the opening statement presentation. The first part of the essay that you wrote is actually best presented as parts of the body paragraphs. Not as an opening statement. Your concluding statement has the same problem. You cannot continue the discussion of the essay with new information then suddenly stop it. That is not a completed essay. Unless you properly wrap up the essay with a new summation of the discussion plus a restatement of your opinion, it cannot be considered a concluding statement. Due to these problems with your essay, I believe that an examiner would assess your work as a possible 3.
OP Selaf 1 / 3  
Apr 23, 2017   #3
@Holt
I think I understand what you mean. For instance, I delete the first sentence of my last paragraph and replace it with following sentences, which makes it look like this:

Not only does luck help people with discovery and invention, but it benefit them in terms of becoming famous and finding jobs. So that ....
Will it help?


Home / Writing Feedback / Whether luck is important to success? TOEFL
Do You Need
Academic Writing
or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳