Make a writing about short video " what's inside?" Jubilee

men fall in love with a girl classmate

Love is always topic that filmmakers love, this short film " what's inside " tells a young men fall in love with a girl classmate. But he did not dare to speak words of love to that girl and thank to secret in his lucky bag from his grandmother. He was enough brave to say love to her.

Jimmy come back home with feeling upset, and depress. His grandmother felt that thing when she saw thought a window and asked him come over room when he got up the stairs . She told him that when she was young, every lunar new year, she often bought a lucky bag at store back home with a fresh start and good fortune to begin the new year. After that she said " I know this is an important year for you and I prepared a lucky bag just for you". when Jimmy is opening it, she told him " Hey, don't open it yet, though. Not until to you really need it, Okay?"

Lucky bag is alway brings with him when he goes to school everyday. All he need is some lucky. One day, Jimmy accidentally met Katie, his classmate who he falls in love when she dropped a book. After that, he took out his lucky bag to see and he thought that fortune might come from this gift of grandma, then they also met at the tea house where Jimmy often sings there, repair car together when her car has trouble Every time they meet, he usually looks at lucky bag and smiles with it. That is great time to them. They are in love and getting closer.

One day, when talking with his closer friend, Jimmy decide to confess and want to give her a gift, but when it comes to there, he suddenly is stumbled and fell on floor. The friends make fun of him by that accident, he is embarrassed and left.He thought that lucky bag did not bring fortune when he need.

Jimmy had isolated himself, don't care any messegers from his friends. Feeling is sad and irritated và he thought a gift and a secret appear. It turn out to be a box by wood, the secret is revealed in side with a papper written carefully: " Jimmy, you're kind, talented, smart and funny. You are capable of doing so much more than you can imagine.You don't need luck because it's what's inside that matters." After reading, he realized what grandma wants to said. Jimmy decides to follow his love and takes courage to meet Katie and a happy ending for both.

@Anthony Ho
Hello there. I'll provide you with writing feedback.

Please be cautious of the structure of your sentences. Notice how some portions have quite inappropriate and informal tones. You can enhance the overall structure by being more organized through using the right punctuation at all costs. Try to be wary of run-on sentences wherein you merely blabber without adding sufficient gaps and spaces.

Furthermore, try to also be aware of instances wherein your grammar is out-of-key. For instance, be cautious of the tenses. Remember that you should always be consistent with your usage of tenses to ensure that your overall composition has sufficient meaning.

Best of luck as always.