Hi!
I just joined this website in hopes of getting some help on this essay. I'm absolutely stuck on it! It's supposed to be VERY pathos-based, as it is not an argument essay (which is more logos-based?) I'm struggling a bit with the emotional aspect of this, and I was wondering if you guys had any tips or revisions you could make on it. I'm not all the way finished but here's what I have so far.
Grease-covered pizza and calorie-packed hamburgers stare you down as you walk up the lunch lines. These malicious yet popular food items overwhelmingly occupy the cafeteria. Kid after kid, table after table, Canyon Crest students are innocently eating these meals with absolutely no idea of what they're ingesting. To easily solve this problem, we must eradicate from our cafeteria this junk food horror.
Though these seemingly delicious food items hold a high rank in the cafeteria food hierarchy, their intentions are bad. Like a villainous monarch, the junk food of our school has power over ones who have a lower status, such as the healthier choices offered. This monarch gained power through voters: the lunch item consumers. Why would these voters want such a powerful tyrant? What did the dictator have that the voters desired? What they hungered for was the source of the ruler's power: salt, sugar, and fat. Addicting yet detrimental to your health, these three power sources are the chink in the armor of healthy food and what keeps them from gaining the power they need.
We can do it, I tell you, we can do it! The Goliath of cafeteria food can, and will, be conquered. How? Through complete extermination. Oblivious to the deleterious effects of the unhealthy cafeteria food, students blindly consume it. One may say that it's the consumer's choice on what they want to eat; though, it's the supplier's responsibility to provide the consumer with nutritious choices.
Obviously I've got a long way to go, but I feel like it's so choppy! Also, I need to think of more reasons why only healthy food should be offered. I've come up with these and the fact that teenagers will always eat what's easily available (aka what the cafeteria is serving), that it's the school's responsibility to not only give an education on the typical "school subjects" but how to eat healthy as well (which healthy cafeteria food would serve as a good example to the students)
I just joined this website in hopes of getting some help on this essay. I'm absolutely stuck on it! It's supposed to be VERY pathos-based, as it is not an argument essay (which is more logos-based?) I'm struggling a bit with the emotional aspect of this, and I was wondering if you guys had any tips or revisions you could make on it. I'm not all the way finished but here's what I have so far.
Grease-covered pizza and calorie-packed hamburgers stare you down as you walk up the lunch lines. These malicious yet popular food items overwhelmingly occupy the cafeteria. Kid after kid, table after table, Canyon Crest students are innocently eating these meals with absolutely no idea of what they're ingesting. To easily solve this problem, we must eradicate from our cafeteria this junk food horror.
Though these seemingly delicious food items hold a high rank in the cafeteria food hierarchy, their intentions are bad. Like a villainous monarch, the junk food of our school has power over ones who have a lower status, such as the healthier choices offered. This monarch gained power through voters: the lunch item consumers. Why would these voters want such a powerful tyrant? What did the dictator have that the voters desired? What they hungered for was the source of the ruler's power: salt, sugar, and fat. Addicting yet detrimental to your health, these three power sources are the chink in the armor of healthy food and what keeps them from gaining the power they need.
We can do it, I tell you, we can do it! The Goliath of cafeteria food can, and will, be conquered. How? Through complete extermination. Oblivious to the deleterious effects of the unhealthy cafeteria food, students blindly consume it. One may say that it's the consumer's choice on what they want to eat; though, it's the supplier's responsibility to provide the consumer with nutritious choices.
Obviously I've got a long way to go, but I feel like it's so choppy! Also, I need to think of more reasons why only healthy food should be offered. I've come up with these and the fact that teenagers will always eat what's easily available (aka what the cafeteria is serving), that it's the school's responsibility to not only give an education on the typical "school subjects" but how to eat healthy as well (which healthy cafeteria food would serve as a good example to the students)