Unanswered [1] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 6


Today, man is master and machine is slave but tomorrow, machine will be master and man wil



bwosti 5 / 11  
Mar 11, 2014   #1
This is twenty-first century, almost and every aspects of our life is assisted with technological inventions. It's advancement and upgradation is augmenting in every minutes and so do our working style. Money is being extravagantly used in new research like making robots more intelligent, weapons more effective and destructive, more reliable drugs etc which in turn making scientists to focus more on new inventions even without considering their personal life. Some people think these inventions are good but on the other hand, other say these are just an augury of bad future.

Even though,Science has always been a part of our daily life I personally believe that
machine will surely takeover human control in future and which might result in extinction of human being from Earth. Which can be alluded from the evidence that scientists are performing vast research on how to make machine similar like human in terms of cognitive thinking, manipulating and using past experience by using bio-chips. Since the inventions of computer, it is being made more and more powerful and intelligent and all great countries are being more spendthrift on spending huge amount of money on assisting such studies. Artificial intelligent is more likely to corresponding to human inteligent. For example, Honda robots are being used by individuals to assist their daily activities by firing servants in house, manufacturing companies are 90% controlled by robots, all space exploration is under control of intelligent robots. More the scientists are achieving success in their artificial intelligent technology more is chance of robots taking control over human in future.Furthermore, people are losing their mental and physical activities and languishing in every aspect as they are always been dependant on machines even in smaller deeds which is our Achilles heel.

In other words, Seventh generation computers if successful will be more thoughtful than we assume ourselves in this current era. Which means we are more likely to be controlled by machines in future as they will have bio - chips implemented processor so they will have enough skills to create their own clone so as to increase their number. More interestingly, machines will give birth to new machine in near future and those machines will be highly destructive and violent so much so we will be unable to sustain their fierce and furious control and finally we have to extinct from this Earth.

In a nutshell, Till this lapse of time machines are being signalled by human and serving as per our will but if more progressive research is performed definitely scientific robots will over take our voluntary actions and will be able to control our physical and mental activities. So I believe rampant research on robots and weapons should be demolished and stops further inventions to continue our generations on this scenic Earth.

niesaysi 16 / 281  
Mar 11, 2014   #2
This is twenty-first century, almost and every aspects of our life is assisted with technological inventions.
It'sAdvancement and upgrading is augmenting in every minutes and so do our working style.
Money is being extravagantly used in new research like making robots more intelligent, weapons more effectiveand destructive, more reliable, drugs etc

Even though science has always been a part of our daily life, I personally believe that
takeover-take over
dumi 1 / 6793  
Mar 11, 2014   #3
What is the purpose of this essay? Is this for TOEFL, IELTS. GRE etc.? Also, it is good to have your prompt included in the essay itself :)

You seem to be having very good writing skills. However, if this is for one of the above tasks, you may have to work on your time management skills. This essay seems to be a bit longer. Have you been able to manage time?
OP bwosti 5 / 11  
Mar 11, 2014   #4
This is for IELTS Task II writing. Yes, it is bit long but I think I will manage time on actual test. Thanks for your prompt comment.
dumi 1 / 6793  
Mar 11, 2014   #5
That's great .... had you managed time, that means you are free from a big challenge :D
Pahan 1 / 1824  
Mar 11, 2014   #6
This is twenty-first century, almost and every aspects of our life is assisted with technological inventions. It's advancement and upgradation is augmenting in every minutes and so do our working style. Money is being extravagantly used in new research like making robots more intelligent, weapons more effective and destructive, more reliable drugs etc which in turn making scientists to focus more on new inventions even without considering their personal life. Some people think these inventions are good but on the other hand, other say these are just an augury of bad future.

You write very well. However, this does not follow the style that you are required to present at IELTS exam. We (dumi and most of the other contributors here) promote students to follow the following structure for the introduction because it contains all the feature that you need to score good marks as well as it helps you manage time efficiently at the exam.


Home / Writing Feedback / Today, man is master and machine is slave but tomorrow, machine will be master and man wil
Do You Need
Academic Writing
or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳

Academic AI Writer:
Custom AI Writer ◳