1981 and 1994 - marriages per a country
Hi guys, i just wanna say that it's been a long time that i have not written IELTS task 1 so i guess it gotta be suck :( but hope your comment will improve it give me some tips so i can do better next time xD :D!
The question:The bar chart below shows the marriage statistics for eight countries in 1981 and 1994. Write a short report about describing the information shown below.
My essay:
The given bar chart depicts the marriage figures for eight nations in 1981 and 1994. In general, there was a downward trend in all territories except Denmark and USA had the highest marriage statistics.
As is observed from the presentation, the marriage ratio(am i using right) of the Americans in 1981 was the greatest among other given countries which peaked at nearly 11 per thousand people. Meanwhile, other's marriage statistic was only around 6 per thousand. To be more specific, countries namely UK, Japan, Finland and Germany's marriage figures was all above 6 per thousand and UK was noticeable for its peak at 7 per thousand in the named group(i feel weird about this...).On the other hand, most people in the remaining countries which is France, Italy and Denmark is not married which is proven by their statistic was all below 6 per thousand. (i feel sthing wrong bout this sentence...)
However, in 1994, most of country's marriage figures decreased but USA still got the top 1 which peaked at 9 per thousand. Nevertheless, Denmark was better in the USA by its marriage statistics have been improved, which reached at 7 per thousand. Beside that, among 6 other countries, Japan was the country which its marriage statistic was above 6 while others in the opposite.
And that is done :D, whoose i just check : V, 215 words in my essay. Feel free to give feedbacks, especially i need linking words and tips :D.(of course grammar too, i would be good if u give me some complitcated sentences for my essay :) )
graph72marriagest.png
