Unanswered [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 2


Mars is the focus of scientists' attention and this money could be spent better



KhushbooVohra 8 / 17  
Jan 13, 2018   #1

CBEST ESSAY - funding space programs



Hi, I took this topic from the IELTS preparation material as I was unable to find any cbest expository essay topics. I am unsure if this type of question would be asked in CBEST, but I still tried to write an essay. Do let me know if such a question would be asked or not.

Governments spend millions of dollars each year on their space programs. Most recently, Mars is the focus of scientists' attention. Some people think this money would be better spent on dealing with problems closer to home. Do you agree or disagree?

Every year a percentage of kids die due to starvation or are malnutritioned. Many old homeless people do not have any roof over their heads. There are uneducated children who are refrained from attending school because their parents can not afford the fees and many patients who-who are left to die on the bed because they are unable to pay for their treatment. These are a handful of concerns of every country that I have listed but the actual list is endless. I assume, the amount the government is spending on the space programs could help shorten the list of problems a country faces. Therefore, I advocate that money should be spent on dealing with problems closer to home before spending on other programs dealing with a massive budget.

In today's times, people are killing each other in order to fill their stomachs. The rise in robberies and killings have increased because of the rising food prices and population. The farmers are committing suicide because their crops are destroyed due to natural calamities and their inability to repay the loans which in turn has resulted in the scarcity of food and rise in the prices. Causes of malnutrition and starvation is a big issue that the government should look into. The government should spend some of the money from their treasury to make sure that all families should be able to afford the basic bread and butter for their survival. The government should also offer subsidies and offer loans with low interests.

We the citizens of the country are paying taxes for the betterment of the nation. We want and demand better roads and transportation facilities, best medical facilities and social security. The government should invest in taking care of the basic needs of the people and then spend the remaining budget on the space program or any other research. The government should take up initiatives and give insurance to the medical department of the country to serve the hundreds of people who are unable to pay for their treatment. Free education should be granted and qualified teachers should be enrolled in government schools to teach the students who would grow up to be successful and independent pupils. The government should invest in the research and inventions for the eradication of pollution and other deadly diseases that are the greatest concerns of the people.

I believe that instead of spending on the space programme, which would not benefit any one of us at present, the government should spend on the problems and issues that the people are dealing with now. Spending on the space program is a risk because it takes years to research and it consumes a lot of money with no guaranteed results. I was taught back in school that the best government is the government for the people, by the people and of the people. The government who thinks about the people of the nation rather than the nation first is considered to be a successful government.

Holt  Educational Consultant - / 15466  
Jan 13, 2018   #2
Khushoo, I will not be scoring you on this IELTS test because the writing that you did in this section does not adequately represent the standard content of the CBEST essay writing sections. As you know, there are 2 essay writing sections, one is a situational analysis and the other, is a personal experience narrative. What you wrote in this essay does not represent either of the essay requirements of the CBEST. It would be unfair of me to review, analyze, and judge you based on a topic that will never show up in the actual CBEST test. You can use sites like fullexams.com to get a wide array of past CBEST essay prompts for your use during your review period. Focus on the analytical part because that is where your problem is. Don't focus so much on the personal narrative because that is your strong suit. The analytical portion requires you to be familiar with various current and past events which are post historic and / or popular in presentation. Try to brush up on your current events just in case something from the recent news events turns out to be the analytical situation prompt.


Home / Writing Feedback / Mars is the focus of scientists' attention and this money could be spent better
ⓘ Need Writing or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms for professional help:

Best Writing Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳