Unanswered [2] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 5


The mass media affected people's society bigger than another - even more than politicians



irhame 52 / 47  
Oct 4, 2015   #1
The recent research has shown that media like the Internet and TV have a grater influence over people's lives than politicians.
Which do you consider to be the greater influence?


In this day and age, the observation reveals that mass media such as TV and the Internet play a big role for almost all people's way to live than politicians. I totally believe that media affected people's society bigger than another.

There are some reasons why people's lives have been extremely influenced by public media. Initially, they usually used to watch and read media just to entertain themselves. This purpose is available for all positions in a wide range of status. Furthermore, electrical news resources has a lot of up-to-date knowledge. As such, it persuade every person access the Internet and TV. Eventually, teenagers tend to imitate what they look on TV or the Internet. If they duplicate some negative attitudes from these media, it will disturb themselves and their environment.

On the other hand, many politicians are only interested by particular information such politic topics, which provide more beneficial for them. For example, the research of Oxford University in 2000 witnesses that 85% politicians in America more likely consume economic and politic issues from electronic news and television programmes. As a result, the information included in media increases their insights and skills in career. Therefore, mass media has a significant impact for politician improvements.

To sum up, it is evident that even though public information sources, representing TV and the internet, can influence politicians only in some aspects, I deeply agree that people in the different age of groups have big effect that they receive as long as using public media.

vangiespen - / 4077  
Oct 4, 2015   #2
Irham, you must review the prompt requirement. You were supposed to choose which of the two, television or the internet has a bigger influence on peoples lives today. Instead of choosing one of the two to discuss in your essay, you instead responded that media does affect our society. Now, where did that answer come from? I do not see any part of the prompt that is aligned with your response in the introduction. Therefore, you are not properly responding to the prompt and have, sad to say, failed this essay test.

I will not discount that fact that your opinions as stated actually make sense. In fact, your statements are based on truth and is acceptable as a response. It just doesn't apply to the prompt you were given. So you will need to revise your essay to more accurately provide and answer to the prompt.

In my opinion, you should base your response to the prompt on the fact that the internet is fast taking over the role of television on today's society. It offers a global access to international news sources, international life experiences through social media, and allows people from all walks of life and parts of the globe to voice their opinions to be heard on an international level. Therefore, the internet has a much bigger influence on people's lives than television ever did. After all, television only allowed us to watch and hear, it lacked the kind of social participation that the internet allows for and therefore, does not carry the same kind of influence in the lives of people.

Try to revise your essay based upon my suggested response. You need to make sure that you always understand what the prompt is asking you to respond to. Otherwise you risk giving the wrong answer and failing the essay part of your test, which could affect the overall exam result.
hasbi 29 / 41  
Oct 5, 2015   #3
hi..irhamee.,.,

i think you should pay attentian and understand the topic before you writing,.,

The recent research has shown that media like the Internet and TV have a grater influence over people's livesthanpoliticians .
Which do you consider to be the greater influence ?

firtly.--you should write how the media can strong influence the society?
and secondly you should write about why the politicians can not trusted by people today?
good luck
OP irhame 52 / 47  
Oct 6, 2015   #4
thanks you mr vangiespen
honestly, i still confused about your suggestion
let me try to describe it
in my opinion, the topic is focused on the effect mass media such as TV and the internet for people and politicians.
as such, i try to describe the media's influence for people
and media's influence for politicians
vangiespen - / 4077  
Oct 6, 2015   #5
The question basically was, who has more influence over people? The internet, TV, or politicians? Which one do you choose and why? So the prompt asked you to pick one and defend it. Instead you chose to compare all 3 without really making a definite choice about which one you believe to be the more influential of the 3 in the lives of people.

All 3 of them have an effect on people's lives, nobody will say that is wrong. The argument then becomes, "Who do the people listen to the most and why?" If you say the people listen to the internet as a source of news and influence then explain why. If you think it is politicians, then explain why. You can't say they all influence the people equally because the prompt already asked you to choose which one influences the people "the most". That means the greatest influence. Who do the people listen to and believe without question? That is what the prompt is asking you to consider and discuss.

The discussion you made left the final decision up to the reader. You only presented various sides of the issues without taking a side. So you failed to respond to the prompt. This was not a comparison essay. This was a "defend your choice" essay. Do you understand what I am trying to explain now? Please let me know if you don't I'll do my best to hep you understand :-)


Home / Writing Feedback / The mass media affected people's society bigger than another - even more than politicians
Need Writing or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳

Academic AI Writer:
Custom AI Writer ◳