Middle aged people have the highest problem over all activities in a new living place

Writing Task 1 - Problems people have when they go to live in other countries.

The chart shows information about the problems for people who come to visit another country according to the age. Overall, it can be seen that people in the middle age group have the highest problem over all activities and searching school for their children is the lowest problems. Besides that, finding healthcare has the highest from middle age to older age.

The greatest problem for young people aged 18-34 is getting finances. The percentage is 38 percent of this problem. However, only 35 percent of 35-54 is hard to gain finances, whereas 27 percent of people aged over 55 have this problem.

Thirty-four percent people have the problem how to get healthcare in the young age. And then get higher than before of 34 percent. At the end, it is a decrease to 28 percent in the older age.

Searching school for people's children is 6 percent, while in the middle age is the highest of 18 percent and in the older age is the lowest fewer than 5 percent.

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  Question
  

Hi Mardian,

1st paragraph:
- The bar chart shows the information about (...) according to thethree different age groups.
- ... highest problem over all activities while the lowest problem is searching school for their children.and searching school for their children is the lowest problems.

- Besides thatMoreover , finding healthcare has the highest percentage ranging from middle age to older age group .

Wait, are you sure that this is the correct diagram? I am sure that there are three variables there. Those are "Making friends" , "finding somewhere to live" , and "learning the local language" . However, your variables are "searching school for children" , "getting finances" , and "how to get healthcare" . Your data do not even close to the data given in the chart. I suggest you to re-upload the picture or just simply post a revision below this thread instead of creating a new one to avoid suspension.

Hope this helps :)

Hallo mardian.. here my suggestion for you..

1. The BAR chart shows information ...

2. who come to STAY in another country ...

3. ... is the lowest PERCENTAGE OF problems.

4. Besides that , finding healthcare

5. has the highest PROPORTION

6. from middle age to olderOLDEST age.

Hi Mardian.
Welcome to Essay Forum. You have been a right website to improve your skill so that you are supposed to harness as well as possible.

let me finalize your writing throughout my thoughts.

The chart shows information about the problems for people who come to visit MOVE TO another country according to the THREE DIFFERENT age GROUPS.


(Be careful to decide a general trend. In my point of view, each problem dominates in different groups. Pay attention to appropriate information because if you display the data inappropriately, your score can fall down to 5. The overview is one of essential elements in the writing task 1)

The ITS percentage is 38 percent of this problem TOTAL OF MEMBERS IN THIS GROUP. However, only 35 percent of THE GROUP OF 35-54 YEARS is hard to gain ...

And AFTER THAT, THE FIGURE then getS higher than ...
At the end LASTLY, it is a decrease(Don't use the language of change in this case because these figures are different) to 28 percent ...

Searching(Make you sure that what you write is what you mind. be careful of paraphrasing) FINDING THE school for people's children (...) age is the highest PROPORTION REPRESENTING of AT 18 percent and ...

Hopefully, those can help you to get the points of the writing task 1
I really believe you can master this skill if you wanna provide more time to practice more and more.
Keep spirit
GOOD LUCK

Hi mardian,

... 18-34 is getting finances at 38 percent . The percentage is 38 percent of this problem .

And then get a higher number than before of 34 percent. At the end, it is adecreased slightly to 28 percent ...

- For an overview it better not to discuss the lowest number. Discuss the main features.
- Do not explain all the number, do grouping to make a clear explanation.

Hopefully it helps