Unanswered [1]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 2


In the midst of globalization, electronic devices are irreplaceable, although they still may harm us



hailun11 12 / 12  
Sep 6, 2016   #1
The use of electronic media has a negative effect on personal relationship between people. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In the midst of globalization, high electronic device is undeniable even though it has an adverse impact for users. In my opinion, modern technology gets more helping to link people with each other but this also has bad thing on the societies, and I would explain both views.

Rising of modern technology has been becoming alternative solution people around the world nowadays. Furthermore, technological advances have brought the world closer, making communication across long distance easier anytime. People are easy to make connection with relatives in everywhere even in another country. For example, online communication of all types is the most efficient, such as email, webcams, Skype which is possible persons rather than only voice. Therefore, high hardware has huge access to provide all of necessary that people want.

Vice versa, modern technologies have negative effects such as limiting personal contact which is they should meet each other. But because of high hardware recently, people only send instant messages. Sometimes, this can lead to increased expectations and conflict with relationship. For example, when people delayed reply on texts, or even none at all, these are would lead to suspicion and anger. Then rose untrustworthy. However, this is just little bit would happen because this case is seldom or not affection to all people deeply.

In conclusion, to view from different perspective, I completely support if modern technology has given public around the world more feeling closely not opposite.

wahyu 16 / 28  
Sep 6, 2016   #2
Good night Hailun, your essay need more letters because you only read 238 words

In the midst of globalization, high electronic device is [...] and I would explain both views.

in this well-developed technologies era, sophisticated electronic devices are undeniable to be owned by every person. Those goods can give some impacts to the relationship of people in their daily activities. .... you have to chose agree or disagree with that statement or in the middle of that statement.

paragraph 2 body 1 : agree
paragraph 3 body 2 : disagree

Paraphrase the introduction statement you may not make another choice which different from the introduction paragraph

I suggest you to use good structure helping your writing to get high band.


Home / Writing Feedback / In the midst of globalization, electronic devices are irreplaceable, although they still may harm us
ⓘ Need Writing or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms for professional help:

Best Writing Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳