Nowadays, the more modern the life become, the more people tend to prefer living in large cities.

Topic: what do you think were the advantages and disadvantages of living in a small community ?

Nowadays, the more modern the life become, the more people tend to prefer living in large cities. There are advantages and disadvantages to living in a small community.

I believe there were three main benefits. Firstly, the atmostphere was always fresh, spaceful and relaxed, because there were many trees, fields and rivers. Also there were no industry, factories and crowded traffic. Secondly, in small community, everyone knew and understood their neighborhoods, so when someone got troubles, the others were willing to support and help. As the result, the local people were not feel sad and lonely. Also the crime was seldom occur, so people could be comfortable to work and enjoy life, especially children were able to grow up happily and peacefully.

However there were disadvantages considerably. Firstly, students did not have opportunities to follow the advanced education programs because lacking of facilities and accessing latest teaching methods. Also there were no universities, students who wanted to study further have to move away to a certain city and few parents could support their children. Secondly, the healthcare services were not quality. People who got hard diseases had to take to the city in order to being offered good treatments. Also for serious accidents, people may die on the way to hospital. In my view the biggest problem was that the young generation was not ambitious, because most parents worked as farmers, so they tended to want to be a farmer more than other jobs.

In my opinion, the disadvantages of living in a small community were greater than the advantages. The pace of life was slow leading people to be lazy and not to give much effort in life. Also people had little chance to contact with variety of aspects in order to find out their passions and learn themselves

hello bea

Nowadays, the more modern the life become, the more people tend to ...

I think that's better if you use to simple present to explain this essay because this case has been happening until now.

I believe there were are three main benefits. Firstly, the atmostphere wasis always fresh, (...), because there wereare many trees, ...
Also there wereThe better is no industryies , factories and crowded traffic jam .
.., everyone knewows, and understood (...) when someone gotet troubles, the others wereare willing to support and help. As the result, the local people wereare not feel sad and lonely. Also the crime was seldom occurs , so people could be (...) especially children wereare to be able to ...

your writing is still too much repetitive and simple sentence, perhaps better is if you try to use complex sentence

Hi Nguyen, I believe this is my first review for your essay and so far, your essays are looking good. You see, when you're writing, you have to understand what you are writing about, the prompt should be internalized and you should create a mental presentation of how your essay will sound like when you read it out loud. This is very important, simply because, you will not be able to create a well written essay if you don't have the right idea and the right approach and if you yourself does not understand what you wrote.

Furthermore, as much as you can, review the rules of the language, make sure that you are abreast of the latest updates of the language rules, this will be very essential when you write and hopefully, when you get accustomed to writing you will be able to get the habit of writing a good one.

Moreover, as mentioned, you have a good start in writing, however, this should not stop here, you should be able to develop your writing skills and be sure to practice writing more often and read a lot too