IELTS TASK2: Modern technology is creating one single world culture. Agree or disagree?
In the comtemporary world, there has been a great deal of discussion evoling around the issue of whether morden technology could change the world's living standard, which results in creating a single world culture. From my prespective, i believe that high-tech is the most state- of- the- art performance in the evolution of mankind. Personally, i totally agree with this view for the following reason.
The primary factor we need to take into the consideration is that artificial intelligent helps people in various aspect of life. That is to say, intelligent robots are fed with information and those machines with metal bodies are having a lot of incredible ability to endure spaces which could reach high accuracy information of searching. As a results, people can descend their time-comsuming to unwind and that make their life more useful. Moreover, high-teach allows people to broaden their horizons. To put it simply, the needs of commuting are increasingly in our society so the transportation such as bus, train or airplane are always the best choices for the citizens to identify some others alien cultures or they can transfer to work or school.
Turn to another side of the argument, i do admit that the cons of modern technology still exist. In addition, people nowadays are more tendency to use their phone rather than commuicate with each other and it could prevent the feelings of bonding. Even so, technology still has been playing an increasingly significant role in people's life.
To sum up, modern technology has a great impact on the ultimate way people live now. In my oppinon, there also has been pros and cons of the problem, but it is gradually creating a new single world culture where old traditions are no longer of that much importance.I think you have critical thinking, but the way you express it is not good enough.
First, you should check your spelling before posting. So many words are wrong "evoling, artificial intelligent, high-teach"
"That is to say, intelligent robots are fed with information and those machines with metal bodies are having a lot of incredible ability to endure spaces which could reach high accuracy information of searching"
This is a very risky sentence which can turn to be a run-on sentence and your idea is not expressed clearly.
I would fix "That is to say, intelligent robots are able to store information and their incredible abilities to endure severe conditions can allow humans to access to accurate information of searching"
" As a results, people can descend their time-comsuming to unwind and that make their life more useful".
I think this sentence is too hard to catch on and it seems to be you did not check your essay. I know what you want to say but it should be " As a result, people can spend less time on trivial matters and utilize their times."
Most important thing is that your essay is not coherent. Your statement in the intro says that you "totally agree". And then, you admit the cons. I think it's not wrong, but that paragraph is valueless, because you only accept the cons and talk about the tendency of people. It is not supported and has nothing related to your first statement.
Then again, you clearly accept both pros and cons in the ending, it makes your intro and end as they are in different essays. I remind you that in the conclusion, you can only restate what you wrote in the intro with paraphrase. NO SCORING OR BAN!
@THC1310vn
thank you for your advice, i'll try my best
