In the modern world, we compete each other to grab the level of success. We forget about our health

Some people say that in the modern world, it is very difficult for people to have a healthy lifestyle. Others, however, say that it is easy for people to be healthy and fit if they want to be.

Discuss both of these views and give your own opinion.

In the modern world, we compete each other to grab the level of success. Working hard is also one of the tools to get it, which sometimes forget our way of keep healthy. There is an opinion that it is very difficult to maintain our healthy lifestyle when the others believe that it is easy to live healthily.

Busy work is the main cause why people forget to be a healthy person. In fact, 50 percent of workers in Indonesia did not take an exercise almost one year behind. They only focus on their job and they abandoned their healthy lifestyle in order to keep their performance. Next cause is that there is no knowledge of being healthy. They do not know how to make the good meal and too lazy to start a new lifestyle.

However, having a healthy lifestyle can be easy for the ones who want to it. Living in the modern can also accelerate our transform. Today, the internet is the modern platform that can teach ourselves. It can provide the information about how to be a healthy person in just a few steps. They can also allocate their time to do some exercise which is an effective way to maintain their health.

All in all, I believe that living in the modern era as the millennial generation provides some benefits and also drawbacks at the same time, especially in the healthy lifestyle. Although we are living in this are when there are many competitions to grab our success and sometimes our healthy lifestyle is forgotten, we can maximally exploit the technology as the tools for maintaining our health. All we need is our willingness because to be a healthy person starts by you.

(286 Words)

Next cause --> you should use more coherence words such as In addition, moreover (maybe it would make your essay more academic)
They do not know how to make the good meal --> they don't have enough time to prepare their meals
Working hard is also one of the tools to get it --> maybe you can change the word 'tools' into ways or manners
did not take an exercise --> have lack of exercise

in my opinion, your essay would be great if you use more academic vocabularies