Unanswered [1] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 5

Money is the key to happiness - it is one of the important necessities in human life


Masfufah 10 / 12  
Apr 3, 2016   #1
Some people believe that our happiness depends on how much money we have. Others say that money cannot buy happiness. Do you think that having money is the key to happiness or are there more important factors?

Happiness is difficult to define because it means something different to each individual person. Money is one of the important necessities in human life, some people believe that money can give happiness. However, another people do not think so. I believe that money is not everything, many things influence the happiness.

All people use part of their life time to work for earning money to survive their life. They need many things in their life which need money to get them, because nothing free in the world, everything needs money. For example, firstly, people generally get more happiness spending their money on experiences. That's even though experiences are temporary like have dinner with a friend or a vacation. Secondly, we need money for education such as buying shoes, uniform and other things. Because of them, some people measure the happiness by money as measurement.

On the other hand, many people believe that happiness cannot be bought by money. One survey of 1,000 Americans, conducted in 2010, concluded that money does make us happier. For instance, many wealthy people have much money, they can buy anything which they want but they are not feel happy. This is because they are busy with their work, have little time and attention for their family especially those of their son. Many of them lost control because it is not controlled by their parents. As a result, they assume that the most important for happiness is not about money, but many sides, such as attention from their family, time, educated children, and others.

In conclusion, happiness does not depend on money, many things determine. Money is needed in our life, but it is not determiner of happiness.

La Baso 15 / 22  
Apr 3, 2016   #2
Happiness is difficult to define because it means something different to each individual person. ==== so what? what should you give if it is difficult? on the other hand better if you get paraphrase in this way, perhaps: "It is quite complicated if happiness is defined in the universal way. It depends of people who define." and so on :)

In conclusion, happiness does not depend on money, many things determine such as (better if you mention the main idea :) )

overall, you are good writer. go and keep writing. :)
Anaguna 21 / 27 5  
Apr 3, 2016   #3
Hi, I try to make your introduction better, here my suggestion:

Happiness is difficult to define because it means ...

"Measure happiness of each person is very arduous since it has different perspective among others. Although people can happy when they have lots of money since it is used to buy the necessity of human, I believe that there is still other things such as family and pastime which can make people happy. "
fardan10 18 / 25 1  
Apr 3, 2016   #4
However, another other( another for singular) people do not think so, since ( it is better if you add this statement to be more complete) I believe that money is not ...

this is my suggestion for introduction:
Prosperity is pivotal element of human's lives. As such, it is believed that having vast amount of money is one of the crucial factors of happiness for human, while others argue that there are wide range of mediators can determine of cheerfulness.

(In my perspective, you have written a good introduction, yet it less flawless )
Desty22 13 / 20 1  
Apr 3, 2016   #5
hi, let me give suggestions =)
Happiness is difficult to define because it means something different to each individual person - just choose one, individual or person

Money is one of the important necessities in human life...

Money shows the essentials things in human live, some people believe that money brings happiness; meanwhile other persons have different idea. i do believe that money is not everything, a lot of aspects gaining happiness

Thanks


Home / Writing Feedback / Money is the key to happiness - it is one of the important necessities in human life