Unanswered [1] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 3


Mothers have and will always impact our lives



juliajohnson12 1 / 1  
Oct 31, 2011   #1
Mothers have and will always impact our lives in one way or another. They are the kind of individuals that provide us with unconditional love and support no matter what, the circumstances are. Mothers are humans, and are sometimes flawed. But what makes one a good mother, is the act of putting her children's needs ahead of herself. That was my mother, a self sacrificing, patient and caring woman.

"Mummy I am hungry" I would complain, at 2 am. She would scramble out of bed, barely on any sleep and hurriedly heat up some warm milk and cookies for me. That was not the only things I mother would do for me. Growing up in the busy, crowded country of India was never the most splendid place to grow up. But I can say because of the way my mother nurtured me, it was heaven on earth. My mother went trough many difficult trials and troubles to provide me with the best opportunities and facilities she could afford. Even on the most tiresome days, when she would stay up till 3 am grading papers and reading essays, she would wake up exactly at 4:30 am to make my brother and I a healthy breakfast, pack our lunch, iron our clothes, polish our shoes etc. she never cared about herself, always putting her children ahead of herself.

India always has electricity shortages, especially in the summer time during 110 degree weather. I remember staying up all night, sometimes till eleven PM over even until 1 am in the morning. Those were tough nights and I could never get a good nights sleep during those days. I hated going to school the next morning, deprived of sleep. But I always saw my mother was the first one to fall asleep on those nights, she was just lie on the cold marble floor, of our tiny apartment without a blanket, pillow, or anything. I knew how tired or sleep deprived a person has to be in order to fall asleep that quickly in that terrible heat and hard conditions. But there was never a day, she complained or hesitated to take care of us. No matter how sick she was, or how much her feet would ache, she always made sure she did everything for us to make us feel comfortable and concentrated in our studies.

"Don't worry about anything else, Julia. You just study hard and god will provide for us", she would always tell me when I knew how tough our living situation was. I never thought anything would get better. But as she promised god brought us, to a beautiful country with abundant facilities' that people could only dream of having, in India. My mother's encouraging words never left me. To this day, when I struggle with homework or other obstacles in life, I always remind myself, how hardworking and persistent my mother was which helps me become stronger and braver, just like my mother.

Jennyflower81 - / 674  
Oct 31, 2011   #2
You paint a detailed picture of your home life as a child. I love the way you explain why your mother is a hero to you. This shows the reader you have a great appreciation for your family. I would change "no matter what, the circumstances are" to "regardless of the circumstance". The final sentence effectively wraps things up, although it is a little too long. Your essay proves that you were raised with care, morals, and love, which has shaped your personality and life. I believe this is an excellent and captivating story.
amanda guo 5 / 8  
Oct 31, 2011   #3
clothes, polish our shoes etc..S he never cared about herself, always putting her children ahead of herself.

I think this sentence is too long and make a pause would be better.
U need some linking words
I like ur essay and I can feel you have a warm family. Good luck!


Home / Writing Feedback / Mothers have and will always impact our lives
Need Writing or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳

Academic AI Writer:
Custom AI Writer ◳