IELTS - GT (task-1) You have moved to different house, Write a letter to your friend

Dear All,

I would really appreciate if you could read my Letter. I am preparing for IELTS (GT), and would request you to please read from letter from all perspective; including Task Response, Coherence and Cohesion, Grammar, etc

IELTS (Task-1): You have recently moved to a difference house, write a letter to an engligh friend. In your letter,
- Explain why you have moved?
- Describe the new house
- Invite your friend to come and visit

Dear Jack,
I hope this letter find you and your family well. I am writing to let you know that we have shifted to a new house located near to the city center.

Actually, my previous house was quite far from my office location and; as you know that I don't have a conveyance, so daily morning I had to walk 01 hour to reach at my office and it took almost same time to home in evening. Sometimes, I had to stay late in office and by the time I reach home my family would already asleep.

In addition, the house was quite old so I had to spend much amount of money for its repair that becomes unnecessary pain on my pocket. Due to these reasons, I decided to look for another house and luckily I found one located a few steps away from my office.

Let me tell you more about my new house, first of all, it is a newly built house and fully furnished so no maintenance pain, it has got a new swimming pool, beautiful garden and a gym for exercise. Second of all, it is located a few steps away from my office which is such a relief for me.

It has been a while we haven't seen each other and my family is also anxious to meet yours. So, I would like to invite you over the weekend to have dinner with us, where I can show you my new house.

We look forward to see you this weekend. Don't forget to bring your dog, my child loves it.

Best wishes,
Naveed

Well, you have done a good job but there are some grammatical mistakes which you have to fix. For instance, ocated near to the city center is usually said near the city center and would already asleep should be would already be asleep . first of all, it is a newly built house and fully furnished so no maintenance pain, it has got a new swimming pool, beautiful garden and a gym for exercise. here it will better if you put a dot after no maintenance pain, and start a new sentence.

I hope this letter finds you and your family well.

Actually, my previous house was quite far from my office location and (no ; ) as you know that I don't have a conveyance, so daily morning I had to walk 01 hour to reach at my office and it took almost the same time to home in evening.


This is good, but I like if you had one more line to complete it;
I hope the new location would give more family time.