Unanswered [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 3


Museum is a place that retain of history object; Visiting museums during travel.



BOMAT_IRA 29 / 39  
Apr 2, 2014   #1
Many people visit museums when they travel to new places. Why do you think people visit museums? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

Museum is a place that retain of history object. A lot of people like vacation to new places and going to the museum in there. There are many reasons to people do that such as to get knowledge, to get new experiences, and others want to refresh.

Museum has function to save and to display historical remains, art, science, and antique things. It becomes pulling power of some people when they travel to new places. For people that like historical tourisms, museum is a great places. By visiting to the museum, they will see many collections of artifact historical and collections things that invaluable. Besides, they will know with detail about things collection. It has reference about things collection that writing by a specialist.

Moreover, person visit to museum because they want to learn and to get new experience in the museum. For example, when people want to know about history of geology, they will go to Museum Geology in Bandung, West Java. It provides information and knowledge about the geology or earth science in a way that is interesting. In this museum, visitors will see a variety of geological materials in the form of stones, fossils, or minerals that are found in various parts of Indonesia. In addition, some people visits to museum for refreshing.

In conclusions, museums are a great place of people visited when they are traveling to new places. People will get education and adventure of the museum. Besides, other people are visiting to museum for having fun.

ridwan 8 / 16  
Apr 2, 2014   #2
A lot of people like vacation to new places and going to the museum in there

Hi brother ira.

in your sentences, there is word "and" . So, sentences one and sentences two should equal.

just information.

i think, your sentences can become complex sentences use "who" .

you can open your extract.

Thanks
dumi 1 / 6793  
Apr 3, 2014   #3
It is always good to mention the purpose of writing your essay in the title itself. For e.g. IELTS, TOEFL, GRE etc. Then we can align our comments more with task related requirements. However, I guess this is written as a practice essay for IELTS or TOEFL :)

Museum is a place that retainsof historyhistorical objects .

. A lot of people like vacation to new places and going to the museum in there.

.... this sentence is extremely confusing :( You need to rephrase this sentence.


Home / Writing Feedback / Museum is a place that retain of history object; Visiting museums during travel.
ⓘ Need Writing or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms for professional help:

Best Writing Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳