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IELTS TASK 1 : MUSEUMS VISITORS IN LONDON (measured in thousands)


Mardy17 32 / 18 5  
Jan 7, 2016   #1
The line chart figures the level of guests in three different museums in London during June to September 2-13 and is measured in thousands. Overall, the number of people going to British and Science Museum increased gradually, while visitors from Natural History showed the reverse. In any case, British Museum was the most popular attractions among all museums.

To begin, the level of guest in British Museum stood at 600,000 in June 2013 and reached a peak of approximately 750,000 in July. However, in August 2013, there was a dramatic decline to 500 thousands. Through September witnessed a significant improvement in the number of visitors.

Moving to the other museums, the number of people who visited Science and Natural History Museum started at just over 500 thousands and 400 thousands respectively. Subsequently, there was a gradual decrease in the rate of visitors in the following two months. However, August experienced a steady rise to just over 400,000 in the number of guests




amrillahmk31 15 / 17 2  
Jan 18, 2016   #2
figures

you can use another word such as depicts, represents, or potrays.

museums in London during June to September 2-13

it is a little bit hazy in this part, you have to make it clear or use another form: over 4-month period
daveandrei 14 / 8 5  
Jan 18, 2016   #3
Hi, Mardy.
I think your writing is quite clear, but there are some errors.
Here's my suggestion.


The line chart figures
You need verb in here. Because if you use 'figure' as a verb, it has a different meaning. You can choose 'illustrate', 'reveal', 'depict', or 'represent' as a verb

during June to September 2-13

while visitors fromwho came to the Natural History showed the reverse.

In any case, British Museum was the most popular attractions
If you use the most, you don't need 's'.

Moving to the other museums, the number of people
It is better if you do not repeat some words or phrases. Here's my option: the traveler, the tourist and etc.


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