why do we need music? Traditional Vs Contemporary Music

there are many different types of music in the world today. why do we need music?is the traditional music of a country more important than the international music that is heard everywhere nowadays

many countries prefer music because it is also one of the part of their life that'sway all countries are like to prefer that. every person like to listen the music every day.there are many different types of music in the world today.traditional music is more important than the international music. traditional music is listen to everywhere by using our technology.

music is used in various ways(used in advertisements, entertainment(movies) and also various functions(like birthday parties and marriage etc)).so music have very important in our life that'sway we need music in daily life. actually music have been helping to enthusiasm in our daily life. nowadays so many people like to listen music because relief their stress feeling. it is listen for some relaxation. i support traditional music is more important than the international music. it is very easy to understand and also very meaning full. so many people like to listen their traditional music compared to the international music. but only some people like to listen international music. that international music listeners are also like to listen their traditional music. some illiterate people can't understand the international music. so they can't interest to listen that type of music. they are only like to interest only on traditional music. this traditional music is listen any to place even airplane also. for example many people leave their own place to go to another countries by the purpose of study or job or any other use. their people also listen to their traditional music by using internet and also iPad. and also music can listen to any journeys without internet. suppose if we download the music in memory cards pend rives and laptops. then these electronic instrument can used to listen to the music everywhere.

so we need music compulsory in various ways. the traditional music is more important than the international music. it is listen everywhere by using internet laptops iPad pend drives etc.

could you please verify my mistakes and also give me any advice for me.

traditional music is listened to everywhere by our technology.


can be listened and you have many same errors like this one in your essay


Music is used in various ways and it has various functions.


so music is very important in our life


relieve their stress

I hope it would help you and I think you probably should improve your grammer

You have forgotten the first lesson of English :D .... i.e. you need to start sentences with capital letters. It is important that you present your essay in a more neat and tidy manner because it is pretty difficult for us to follow your essay when it looks messy.

Hiii.... dumi
thank u so much for your advice
actually i am poor in ENGLISH LANGUAGE...
i dont know it can possible or not to get band 7 in my IELTS..
SO Please help me
could you please give these advices
again thanks for your help for above task...

Hiiiiiii... scurry
thank u so much...
actually i dont know about my grammer mistakes after see your reply.. really it is very useful to improve my score...
again thanks scurry
please help me actually i am poor in english.. could you please tell me How to improve my writing and speaking... because i am preparing for IELTS but i dont know how to prepare for this exam...

if u dont mine could you please SEND me SCORE by the above writing task out of band10.. but please tell me frankly

No worries dear.... this forum is a collaborative platform where we help each other having one goal in mine, which is improving our English writing skills.


... it's not the country that prefers music, but the people. Also, this sentence is pretty confusing. Don't write lengthy sentences. Write short sentences to include one idea per one sentence. It is the best way to take a start and move forward.

[quote=ashalatha]many countries prefer music because it is also one of the part of their life that'sway all countries are like to prefer that.

Many people prefer music because it is also one of the parts of their life.
I think, the remaining sentence is not necessary because it repeats the same thing, why people prefer music

[quote=ashalatha]every person like to listen the music every day

every person likes to listen to music ( every person , every day, each and every person is singular.
for example: each and every student has to bring his or her own laptop
every person writes well; always, listen to music, not listen music)

[quote=ashalatha]many countries prefer music because it is also one of the part of their life that'sway all countries are like to prefer that. every person like to listen the music every day.there are many different types of music in the world today.traditional music is more important than the international music. traditional music is listen to everywhere by using our technology.

in your introduction, though you tried to start with a general point about the topic,you have just copied the question afterwards. but in ielts it is important to paraphrase the question, it means you should write the question in a different way with the same meaning . for example, Many people prefer music because it plays a vital role in day to day activities of our life. every person likes to listen to music for one or other reasons. in this modern age, it is true that one could hear a rich variety of music in different occasions. although, international music is becoming very popular nowadays, due to the advancement of technology and globalization , in my opinion, I think that the traditional music of one's country is more important than the former one.

it is an example though
think it would help you. however, you have good ideas, the only thing is to understand the question, follow a good structure then grammar.
try to use linking words, collocations like that
thanks

thank u so much for your valuable advice Beula...
it is very helpful to correct my mistakes