[Toefl] It is not necessary for university students to attend classes ......

This is my first practice of TOEFL, and i really hope someone could help me correct it and provide me some advice.
Thank you so much！

Do you agree or disagree: It is not necessary for university students to attend classes as long as they can pass the exam.

Though out the last decade, the load of the university students has been constantly increasing. There are those who consider that university students cannot attend any classes until the students pass the exam. There are those who said that student can attend the university coarse without passing the exam. However, from my perspective, students can acquire university knowledge without the prerequisite of passing exam. The reasons to be illustrated are follows.

Firstly, the students are not constantly expert in every part of a subject. For example, I love Physics. But I don't like electronics, because electronics cannot always be seen in the real world. And I have had 0 in physics score when I study the electronics. But I constantly achieve 100 score when I study other part of the physics. And if I cannot attend the classes until I pass the exam of electronics, I could not pass the entire part of physics, and I will fail the exam over and over again. Luckily, in our university, you can attend the classes regardless of the score you reach. And I can study physics without consideration of my electronics. And at last, I took the electronics again and pass the exam.

Secondly, if the university take the policy that no one can attend the classes without passing exam, students are highly likely to leave uncultivated. If one fail most of the exam, it means that he or she cannot participate in most of the classes. And the students will have nothing to do in the campus. Then he or she will play online games days and nights. The academic achievement will decline. In the end, this student will become a loser in the world. And all this is due to that the university don't permit them to attend the class. This is not the failure of the university but also the entire education system.

Admittedly, the university student may don't reach a high if the university allow student to participate in the class no matter whether they pass the test or not. But the benefit of free to access to the classes eclipse the issue of lower points.

All in all, the university should allow the student to participate in the classed without passing the test because not only is every students expert in every part of one subject but also it will reduce the student in the campus who leave uncultivated.

There are those who said that student can attend the university coarse without passing the exam. This is the right spelling "course".

And all this is due to that the university don't permit them to attend the class.

I believe it should be written in that way, "And all this is because the university doesn't allow them to attend the class.

Thanks. And could you please give me an example of a good introduction? thanks.

Your writing is totally out of topic. You have not understood the prompt well. Read it carefully and try to understand what it asks you.


Ok, let's follow dumi's approach :)
Many universities are very keen on maintaining a high level of student attendance in the classes. (hook) However, some people argue that attendance should not be a mandatory requirement at tertiary level of education. They argue that the main objective should be passing the examination and if the students can manage that without attending classes, then they should be allowed to do so. (Background). In my personal view, I believe that it is necessary for the students to attend classes at the university for several important reasons. (Thesis statement)

you should give more space between your paragraphs