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New way of communication can lead to some undesirable results by preventing direct social contact


macduck 1 / -  
Aug 21, 2014   #1
IELTS task 2
Full essay question:
Nowadays the way many people interact with each other has changed because of technology.
In what ways has technology affected the types of relationships that people make?
Has this been a positive or negative development?
My essay:
Technology can be referred to as the major catalyst creating transformations in almost every aspect, including communication between people. Such changes, in writer's point of view, bring about both positive and negative impacts on the social life.

It can be seen that one of most apparent breakthroughs of communication is many services that enable people to keep in touch in a much more efficient way, regardless of geographic distance. Hence, through the Internet, businessmen from different hemispheres can attend e-conferences and exchange emails in the blink of an eye. In addition, another outstanding development that has become extremely popular in recent years is social networks, for instance Facebook and Twitter. By engaging in social networks, never before can people find many friends, get instantaneous updates of their activities, and communicate with each other so straightforwardly.

However, the new ways of interaction can produce detrimental consequences. It is the efficiency that backfires when people depend too much on virtual means of communication, and disparage the conventional "face to face" way. Accordingly, those who lack of direct contact seems to have little social skills and underdeveloped relationships. Furthermore, in the case of social networks, such can be addictive as users get immersed in the seemingly unlimited activities offered. As a result, both professional and social life are conversely affected. In fact, these are the issues that many people have, especially those at schools and colleges.

In conclusion, besides facilitating social interaction, which uplifts the quality of professional and social life, the new way of communication can lead to some undesirable results by preventing direct social contact.

264 Words
Which band score will this essay be likely to receive?
Thanks for your support!

hamedmas 27 / 58 19  
Aug 21, 2014   #2
In addition, another outstanding development that has become extremely popular in recent years is social networks for instance Facebook and Twitter.

it is better to say::
In addition, social networks such as Facebook and Twitter are outstanding developments which has become extremely popular in recent years .
dumi 1 / 6,928 1592  
Aug 21, 2014   #3
Such changes, in writer's point of view, bring about both positive and negative impacts on the social life.

Why do you say "in writer's point of view"? You are the writer and I wish you expressed yourself more directly;
Such changes, in my view, bring about both positive and negative impacts on our social life.
It is very obvious that you have very good writing skills. However, I wish you express your ideas more directly. Also, it is better if you included specific examples for the reasons you used to support your arguments. Examples are an important aspect of this task :)


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