[WRITING TASK 1] the number of enquiries in one city over a six months

The line graph indicates the changes in the number of inquiries that were sent to the tourist information office in three different methods during a duration of six months in 2011.
Overall, the number of inquiries that were done in person and by telephone witnessed an upward trend, while the figure for letters showed a downward trend. Moreover, in-person inquiries were the most popular option.
Started with only 410, the popularity of face-to-face inquiries weakly grew to 800 in March. Afterward, it surged up and reached a peak at 1900 in the final month of the timeline. There were 900 inquiries done by telephone in January before increasing slightly to 1000 during the next two months. The figure remained steadily from March to April, then rocketed to 1600 in June.
In contrast, the number of emails that resembled inquiries was 790 in the first month. This figure witnessed a slow decrease to 700 in March, followed by a plunge of 310 by May before stabilizing at 390 between the last two months.

• 
  
  

The slash that was used to separate these 2 forms in the image does not mean "and by". The slash means "or". There are only 3 methods listed. However, when you indicated "and by", you changed that information from 3 to 4 options. That created an information deviation which would not be good for your score in an actual setting. You would have received point deductions because of the incorrect information delivery.


The information "started", referring to the beginning of the information. It is the past present reference in relation to time indication.


Do not use exaggerated terms in your description . This is a professional and academic presentation. You only need to present the facts. Simply saying that it "grew" would have had a better scoring impact than "weakly grew" due to the exaggerated nature of the reference. You are dealing with an image here. Be factual in your presentation.


Again, do not exaggerate. You could instead say "increased to".

Great analysis! It's interesting to see how in-person and phone inquiries increased over time. The drop in emails is a bit surprising-maybe adding some funny puns to email inquiries could help boost those numbers and make them more engaging!

@Do Duy Hai
In the phrase "person and by telephone"
The slash that was used to separate these 2 forms in the image does not mean "and by". The slash means "or". There are only 3 methods listed. However, when you indicated "and by", you changed that information from 3 to 4 options. That created an information deviation which would not be good for your score in an actual setting. You would have received point deductions because of the incorrect information delivery.

I suggest a new overall to make your essay more interesting, you could write:
Overall, the number of inquiries that were done in person and by telephone witnessed an upward trend, while the opposite was true for letters during the studied year. Moreover, in-person inquiries were the most favored by residents in comparison with other options.