The number of people in Asia who took their driving test and obtained a driver license due to it

the percentage of women and men in one Asian country who passed when they took their driver license test

The given bar chart compares data about the number of males and females living in an Asian country that qualified and obtained a driver license throught out the years from 1980 to 2010.

Overall, most of the time, women had a higher possibility of passing their driving test, especially in 2000 when the percentage of females succeeded in the test reach the highest among other years and compared to that of males. Meanwhile, in 1980, the percentage of men passed their tests is the lowest data recorded.

In 1980, about 49 percent of women taking the driving test managed to pass and that figure for men is nearly 29 percent which is 20 percent lower than women. The number of females who were able to accomplish the test continued to grow in the next ten years to 51 percent while that of males accounts for 30 percent.

Approximately 69 percent of women succeeded in passing their driving test in 2000 which is also the peak among the years surveyed while that of men is nearly 50 percent, 19 percent lower. In 2010, the percentage of men that passed remained the same as the past 20 years while that of females decreased for 4 percent, ended up at 65 percent.

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The habit of writing in run-on sentences is highly obvious in this essay. The writer tends to combine 2 ideas into 1 sentence rather than using the standard of 1 idea per sentence. That is how the information in the task 1 essay should be formatted for the summary overview. As for the trending paragraph, the writer wrote an analytical report paragraph rather than a trend that only gives the estimates of the information. It should not be as overly detailed as presented in this paragraph. The over detailing of information is also the reason why this reporting analysis runs 209 words instead of the regulation 200 words maximum.

Throughout the essay, the writer runs the risk of creating confusing and difficult to follow analysis presentations. That is because he keeps on trying to write combination comparison paragraphs when the more efficient writing method is that of single image reporting per paragraph. That means, there should be a separate stand alone paragraph for each gender. The combination analysis being presented only in the overview / trending statement.