Please give me feedback on this essay and help me cut it down to 500 words.
Essay Q: Imagine yourself meeting your learning team members for the first time in Orientation. What is the most important thing your teammates should know about you?
"The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams". This famous quote from Eleanor Roosevelt resonates well with the most important aspect of my persona - I am a dreamer. I truly believe that it has been those dreams, which were born in the cradle of a feeling to improve oneself and the world and nurtured with perseverance and hard work, which have pulled humanity out from the deepest chasms.
Growing up in a small town, in the vicinity of the backbone of the Indian civilization - the holy Ganga, gave me an opportunity to look at the implications of blind development. The realization that the use of technology to feed the greed of a few luxury hungry people by the abuse of resources was depriving millions of the basic necessities started to weigh heavy on me. This feeling sparked in me a dream to change the course of development from unclean to a sustainable one.
It was this dream which enabled me to beat the tough competition and get admission in one of the most coveted engineering colleges in India. My time as an undergraduate at ABC was when I explored many different strands of ideas in the quest to find solutions to real world problems related to the development and environment. It was perhaps my fervor to move beyond curriculum and link theory with on ground reality which got me a place at one of the most respected institutions dedicated to the cause of sustainable development - The DDD. At DDD, I got the opportunity to play active role in contributing to policy formulation through research and conceive and implement projects that would make a difference to the cause of people and environment. Whether it be from outside, educating the policy makers about the severe health impacts of indoor air pollution on account of using biomass for cooking in the villages of Haryana or from inside as a part of the "Aviation Emissions Advisory Group" (an expert group constituted by the Government of India to deal with environmental issues associated with civil aviation), I have been able to significantly contribute in improving environment and address social concerns surrounding it.
I have never restricted my efforts in creating a positive change to this world to myself. I believe, being able to inspire someone to become a part of such a mission is extremely important. As an endorser of this philosophy, I was delighted in nurturing an innovative idea conceived by a junior of mine from ABC and his friend. The idea was to somehow inspire the young students to contribute in improving the environment. I helped in polishing their 'rewarding mechanism' and propagate it in a planned way. 'xxx' has been a successful endeavor and I have been helping it from outside through my advice and professional network.
All along the way, my dream has been pushing me to pursue excellence. It was this pursuit which brought me to the school of forestry and environmental studies at Abc. I sincerely believe that an MBA from SOM would immensely strengthen my skills to realize this dream more completely and bring about a real change for the betterment of humanity.
Essay Q: Imagine yourself meeting your learning team members for the first time in Orientation. What is the most important thing your teammates should know about you?
"The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams". This famous quote from Eleanor Roosevelt resonates well with the most important aspect of my persona - I am a dreamer. I truly believe that it has been those dreams, which were born in the cradle of a feeling to improve oneself and the world and nurtured with perseverance and hard work, which have pulled humanity out from the deepest chasms.
Growing up in a small town, in the vicinity of the backbone of the Indian civilization - the holy Ganga, gave me an opportunity to look at the implications of blind development. The realization that the use of technology to feed the greed of a few luxury hungry people by the abuse of resources was depriving millions of the basic necessities started to weigh heavy on me. This feeling sparked in me a dream to change the course of development from unclean to a sustainable one.
It was this dream which enabled me to beat the tough competition and get admission in one of the most coveted engineering colleges in India. My time as an undergraduate at ABC was when I explored many different strands of ideas in the quest to find solutions to real world problems related to the development and environment. It was perhaps my fervor to move beyond curriculum and link theory with on ground reality which got me a place at one of the most respected institutions dedicated to the cause of sustainable development - The DDD. At DDD, I got the opportunity to play active role in contributing to policy formulation through research and conceive and implement projects that would make a difference to the cause of people and environment. Whether it be from outside, educating the policy makers about the severe health impacts of indoor air pollution on account of using biomass for cooking in the villages of Haryana or from inside as a part of the "Aviation Emissions Advisory Group" (an expert group constituted by the Government of India to deal with environmental issues associated with civil aviation), I have been able to significantly contribute in improving environment and address social concerns surrounding it.
I have never restricted my efforts in creating a positive change to this world to myself. I believe, being able to inspire someone to become a part of such a mission is extremely important. As an endorser of this philosophy, I was delighted in nurturing an innovative idea conceived by a junior of mine from ABC and his friend. The idea was to somehow inspire the young students to contribute in improving the environment. I helped in polishing their 'rewarding mechanism' and propagate it in a planned way. 'xxx' has been a successful endeavor and I have been helping it from outside through my advice and professional network.
All along the way, my dream has been pushing me to pursue excellence. It was this pursuit which brought me to the school of forestry and environmental studies at Abc. I sincerely believe that an MBA from SOM would immensely strengthen my skills to realize this dream more completely and bring about a real change for the betterment of humanity.