Unanswered [1] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 6


Odyssey essay; 'Sure God created man before woman...'



sczyra 1 / 1  
Jan 5, 2009   #1
"Sure God created man before woman. But then you always make a rough draft before the final masterpiece." ~ Unknown
Greek women, like multitudes of women amongst ancient eras, were regarded inferior in contrast to men in civilized society. Of course, it is the men who stood unmatched to women through their natural muscular strength that defined their dominant role in this gender-based relationship. This resulted into the bias of overall dominance in men and in other persona such as bravery, cunning, resourcefulness, etc. With power, men made women subservient and dictated their roles as either a sex-toy or a maiden. It is from here we acknowledge that men gave women little regard for character or personality. However, in the Odyssey, Homer describes one figure whose qualities are not ignored and whose qualities strengthen the image of the ideal woman, or in this case, the ideal wife. Homer does indeed test Odysseus on his physical journey back home, but he also tests his wife Penelope, embarking her on a moral journey through the adversity of maintaining her fidelity, cunning and bravery. Through this, he discovers that women perhaps may be unfit to man in his eyes, but overall, they may in fact be their equals or superiors.

Penelope's crying does not demonstrate that she is merely helpless or even more helpless than Odysseus. Following Homer throughout, yes, Penelope is in constant weeping in the absence of her husband. However, Penelope truly does not posses weakness in character or deficiency of bravery. She demonstrates this through a rebellious side of herself where she renounces Antinous, the leader of the suitors, when she discovers their plans to murder her son, Telemachus. Through her strength, she shows an uncanny ferocity within her, even to match her husband, Odysseus when he is engaged within battle. In truth, we see however, that Odysseus is no stronger than Penelope. He does have a soft side to his hardened outlook, because he cries many times like Penelope; once during the time with Calypso and once during his feast within the Phaecian halls.

Next, Penelope's cunning rivals that of Odysseus' and thus disproves superiority amongst either gender. Throughout the epic, Penelope exploits her wit against the suitors using nature's present to her, beauty and Odysseus' unaltered throne; plainly, she is quite attractive in all senses. In one instance, she asserts she will engage one suitor to marriage once she has woven a shroud for her father-in-law. However, every night she unraveled her work and continued the following day. Although she is caught, she resumes the pursuit of manipulating the suitors into furnishing her with gifts. In another instance, she attempts to assess the real "Odysseus", her husband, by motioning her maid to relocate the royal bed, but Odysseus protests, declaring the bed was constructed from the roots of a living tree. Only then, is she certain she is staring into the face of her true husband. Much like Odysseus who demonstrates his wit against the likes of the Cyclops and other perils, Penelope uses wit as a commanding weapon; she uses it to her benefit to dodge perilous situations and enemies.

Finally, Penelope's strong sense of loyalty defines Homer's message of women superiority and defines the epitome of human trust. Since the day Odysseus and the Achaeans left her for the Trojan War, a span of over 20 years, she had awaited her husband's return; with each passing day, she never doubted that her husband will return to her. She held fast under the pursuit of suitors who showered her with fine gifts and she prayed to the Goddess Artemis to shoot an arrow through her heart so that she may die with her love for Odysseus burning inside her; it is clear that Penelope possesses fidelity. Yet unlike Penelope, Homer exploits Odysseus in his adventure where Odysseus is unchaste in his behavior and sleeps with different women such as the Goddesses Calypso and Circe. We see that unlike her husband's faithlessness, Penelope shows an unmatched sense of commitment and demonstrates a woman's strength to hold her desires for her husband.

Fortunately in modern society, women are given much more respect and honor unlike societies in the era of the ancients. We now know that women are men with genetic modification of chromosomes, yet in Homer's time, women were a completely different ilk, a complete other species. Homer saw beyond the layers of paint men had painted women, and he wanted to strongly urge that even thought men did dominate women in his era, women were no far less superior. Odysseus was a grand and true king of men and yet even Penelope could be compared to the status of this majestic being, her husband. She did not desire to become any greater than her husband. However, her modesty makes her superior to her husband who seeks greatness. Perhaps the reader will appreciate that people are diverse and unique, even in gender. Like always, we can never assume who is truly better than others, because in honesty, who has the right to say that?

EF_Sean 6 / 3460  
Jan 5, 2009   #2
Okay, the first thing I notice is that this essay doesn't contain a single quotation from the Odyssey. This means you cannot possibly have proven your points, and that the essay must in fact be horribly weak. So, your first step towards improving this essay is to go through the Odyssey selecting passages that prove that A) women were undervalued in Greek culture. B) Penelope possesses the heroic qualities you mention in your introduction, and C) this means that Penelope can be used as an example of how women can be the equals or superiors of men. Then, you would work these quotations into your essay, or, to be more precise, you would write your essay around the quotations, which are essentially all of the evidence you have to prove your argument with. Then, of course, you would post your new draft here, for further feedback.
OP sczyra 1 / 1  
Jan 5, 2009   #3
well the reason why I dont use quotes is because it is not required of us, using examples to support our claims seems to be strong enough. Anyways, what I was looking for was more of does this structure work or here is a grammar mistake sort of thing.
zowzow 10 / 174  
Jan 5, 2009   #4
but you must use quotes in pretty much every english essay. It is like the obvious rule. everyone knows you have to use it to support your claims. examples are not enough
EF_Sean 6 / 3460  
Jan 5, 2009   #5
Exactly. There is no point in editing the current essay for either structure or grammar because, until it has quotations added to it, everything that is currently written needs to be completely overhauled anyway. In other words, if I were to edit the grammar now, it wouldn't matter, because either A) you would submit it without adding quotations, and fail, or B) you would add quotations and rewrite the essay to fit them, in which case you would almost certainly end up altering or deleting the edited sentence.
EF_Kevin 8 / 13053  
Jan 6, 2009   #6
Well, for a high school or undergraduate essay... really for any essay... quotes can be added in at the end in a way that will seem sufficiently graceful. I think I can give grammar help in a way that leaves you free to add some quotes later on.

Actually, though, I have heard of teachers who sometimes actually challenge students to write an essay about a literary work WITHOUT using any quotes. maybe this is one of those essays...


Greek women, like multitudes of women amongst ancient eras, were considered inferior in contrast to men in civilized society. Of course, it is the fact that men stood unmatched b y women through their natural muscular strength that defined their dominant role in this gender-based relationship. This resulted in the bias of overall dominance in men and in other persona such as bravery, cunning, resourcefulness, etc. With power, men made women subservient and dictated their roles as either a sex-toy or a maiden. It is from here we acknowledge that men gave women little regard for character or personality. However, in the Odyssey, Homer describes one figure whose qualities are not ignored and whose qualities strengthen the image of the ideal woman, or in this case, the ideal wife.

Start a new paragraph here, so that the above sentence becomes your thesis sentence.

Add a topic sentence for this paragraph . Homer does indeed test Odysseus on his physical journey back home, but he also tests his wife Penelope, embarking her on a moral journey through the adversity of maintaining her fidelity, cunning and bravery. Through this, he discovers that women perhaps may be unfit to man in his eyes, but overall, they may in fact be their equals or superiors. Now give a quote or reference to the story in order to back up this assertion.

Continue that way, and you will do great! Keep each paragraph compact and powerful, with evdence to back up your claims about the story.


Home / Writing Feedback / Odyssey essay; 'Sure God created man before woman...'
Do You Need
Academic Writing
or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳

Academic AI Writer:
Custom AI Writer ◳