Many older people believe in a certain ways of living which are not suitable with the youngsters

THE OLDER GENERATIONS TEND TO HAVE VERY TRADITIONAL IDEAS ABOUT HOW PEOPLE SHOULD LIVE, THINK AND BEHAVE. HOWEVER, SOME PEOPLE BELIEVE THAT THESE IDEAS ARE NOT HELPFUL IN PREPARING YOUNGER GENERATIONS FOR MODERN LIFE.

TO WHAT EXTENT DO YOU AGREE OR DISAGREE WITH THIS VIEW?

It is true that many older people believe in a certain ways of living which are not pretty suitable with the youngsters nowadays. While I believe that some ideas are outdated, I agree that other values should not be forgotten.

There are some values which I believe are incompatible to this modern life. Firstly, the concept of when to marry or the rules of who we can get married to are changing. People thesedays often choose their partner with their own criteria and decide whether or not it is the right time to get married depend on different circumstances, such as work, feelings or readiness. Furthermore, the belief that we need to have a job for life is no longer normal. People have chosen to do many different things in order to choose which one is good for them.

Despite several outdated ideas of life, there are plenty of good traits from traditional values. For examples, older generations have made a huge impact on working hard, always do one's best and take pride in one's work. These could benefit younger generations as they enter nowadays competitive world. Furthermore, some of the characteristics which are often seen as traditional such as politeness, humbleness or respect should be kept as youngsters are encountering many people from different backgrounds. Finally, I believe that younger generations could be happier if they live in an area where people can look after each other.

In conclusion, traditional values have its drawbacks but I believe there are also several good things to be kept.

Let me stop you right there, t the prompt paraphrase. Your total essay missed the mark because of that presentation. Your paraphrase was incorrect, you did not respond to the given question, you did not meet the minimum sentence count for the paragraph... These are but a few of the errors that kicked off the start of your incorrect essay.

For starters, you were not asked if the opinion previously provided was incorrect or not. Therefore, you should not have framed the sentence to start with "It is true" because that was not the point of the discussion topic. Next, you were asked about the measurement of your dis/agreement with the given opinion. Rather than picking a side to represent, you decided to change the discussion instruction to a comparative essay presentation by saying; " While I believe some ideas... I agree that...." That is non-opinion presentation. You did not clearly indicate the strength of your single opinion based on the agree or disagree format. The essay does not have a clear opinion presented, so you will lose points for not being able to make a decision or choose one of 2 given opinion discussion points.

That has caused your essay to follow an unexpected discussion format, which led to the lack of clarity in your discussion presentation. You did not follow the discussion format as indicated in the original prompt so you will have a hard time achieving a passing score for the essay. Additionally, your concluding paragraph is only one sentence long. Since that is a reverse paraphrase, you should be presenting anywhere between 3-5 sentences, just like you should have done in the introduction paraphrase.