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Once people could breath in a fresh air, their life was greater than todays convenience life.


Stacy Handayani 29 / 16 19  
Apr 15, 2015   #1
Life now is better than it was 100 years ago. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Convenience are the common benefit that we found on today's life. As such, most people argue that living today is better than it was 10 decades ago as technology and transportation have bring ease to human life. On the other hand, others argue that todays life is worse than the past since those transportation produce much pollution and then bring unhealthy life to humans. For this reason, I disagree that live in today is better than in the past.

Nowadays, people develop technology and transportation as the greatest inventions that can bring the convenience to human's lives. Technology such as email and telephone enable people to do their activities easily, they do not have to go faraway to send a messages and to keep in touch with their family. Therefore, technology reduces the human's movement and it makes people pleasure living in this world today. In addition, there was no transportation like an airplane, common common transportation that can brought a thousand passenger flight. This kind of transportation help people traveling around easily.

On the other hand, living on the world now is worse than living in hundred years ago in environmental sector. Take pollution as an example, in the past, people still could feel fresh air as the transportation did not produce pollution like today's transportation. Unlike the past time, now pollution produced by transportation had filled the air and had caused lack of fresh air. This condition enforce people to breath in the polluted air that can cause problem to their health.

To conclude, although some people claim that life in world now is better than in the past, I believe that living in the past world where people stilll can breath in fresh air is greater than todays convenience life. Therefore, it is better for people to reduce the using of transportation so as to save the fresh air.
justivy03 - / 2,366 607  
Apr 15, 2015   #2
Convenience are (IS) the common benefit that we found on (IN) today's life.

For this reason, I disagree that (TO)live (in-DELETE) today is better than in the past.

In addition, there was no transportation like an airplane, a common (common - DELETE) transportation that can brought (BRING) a thousand passenger (PER) flight.

On the other hand, living on the world now is worse than living (in - DELETE) hundred years ago in environmental sector.

To conclude, although some people claim that life in(THE) world now is better than in the past, I believe that living in the past world where people stilll (STILL) can breath (in - DELETE) fresh air is greater than todays convenience (life - DELETE). Therefore, it is better for people to reduce the using (USAGE) of transportation so as to save the fresh air.

Overall, your essay is good just make sure that you check your spelling, word tenses, sentence structure and grammar.
Proof read your work before submitting it.

Cheers!!!
eddies [Contributor] 25 / 1,208 476  
Apr 15, 2015   #3
Hello Stacy, I have marked some points. Here are they;
Para 1:
the common benefit that we found on today's life
immense benefits that people enjoy from today's life
as technology and transportation have bring ease to human life.
as current technologies and transport services bring astonishing ease for human life
others argue that todays life is worse than the past since those transportation produce much pollution and then bring unhealthy life to humans
others argue that today's life is getting worse since such science inventions emit much pollution and make people lazier and less capable of doing things in both a physical and mental capacity.

Para 2:
I see that this paragraph goes nowhere. To solve this, the phrases technology and transport could be merged into one term, so as that you are more easily to discuss them into one issue. Let's say: the latest inventions . The second sentence contains bad grammar, which is two main sentences running together. I suggest putting a linking word, or full-stop.

Para 3:
Likewise, your example did not form a line with the topic sentence. I do not even know what the purpose of taking about the past here. It could be nice if you explain the means of transport more details. What aircraft and all-terrain vehicles produce air and noise pollution can be an interesting topic to attract readers' attention.

Overall, you write well and have good points to answer the prompt given. All you have to do is to pay particular attention to sentence-to-sentence agreement and slight grammar points.

Thanks,
eddy suaib.


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