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the one general thing everyone is going to buy is Technology; Persuasive Essay

keikox 1 / -  
Dec 4, 2013   #1
Hello, I made a persuasive essay/letter about technology to any person related to my topic. However, I need some feedback on and if I need some more logos, pathos, ethos, and kairos. Thanks !

To the Chief Editor of DailyTech:
As Black Friday approaches once again, the one general thing everyone is going to buy is Technology. Perhaps you've heard of it. Perhaps you have spent every single day sitting placing your head in a fixed position in front of a bright laptop computer screen, clicking away as countless hours pass through your fingers. Perhaps you've spent pondering over the conditions of your thumbs after ruthlessly throwing them about on your latest piece of phone technology, endlessly texting friends upon friends about useless subjects that could probably be forgotten in a matter of moments. Perhaps you've spent days upon days indoors, almost relying your total attention span to the speed of your internet, hoping to avoid that unsatisfied moment of your Facebook page unable to be completely loaded between the seconds of time you take to quickly glance at your undone homework assignments and back to the screen. Technology. Perhaps you've heard of it. Every phone, every laptop, every computer, every car. Every flat screen TV, every video game console. Technology. Perhaps we live it.

With the revolutionary concept of super-advanced artificial intelligence being able to have the ability to aid us in accomplishing our own tasks, there is bound to be controversy. We live in a world today where the world is dominated by technology. Where consumers are constantly demanding the availability of the latest tech, whether it be an Apple phone, or a Microsoft laptop. The world is consumed by the continuous development of technology, with each new creation adding a new feature to helping us achieve whatever we wanted to achieve. And thus, that leads us to the question: "Have people become overly dependent on technology?" By all means, I'm not complaining about technology itself. I myself am a tech junkie. I am on the computer almost all the time of my life by playing video games or even searching the next best technology that I "need" to get. However, every now and then I do take time to recognize the impact that technology has on us, and I ponder over the idea of whether technology is inherently consuming us as people, whether we are slowly being controlled by it and eventually completely dependent on it. Perhaps that affect has already begun, we just have yet to realize it. However, as a statement, yes, I do believe that people have become overly dependent on technology.

The impact of technology on us as people could be shown in various ways. People are quick to assume, for example, that its impact has us forever driving in cars instead of walking, immediately assuming that exercise has decreased due to the advancement in technology, which is a fair argument. However, none take the time to observe the small features we're given with the technology, and the large impact that is accompanied by it. One of these features is the Spellcheck tool, accessible within any Microsoft Word application on any brand of laptop or desktop computer. Now, as a passionate Asian-American student, I guess you could consider me to be a type of Grammar Nazi, however, the constant accessibility of Spellchecker and the fact that we as students rely on spellcheck to automatically correct every spelling and grammatical mistake immediately indicates a major dependency on technology, and is ultimately a concerning topic. Why? Because spelling is essentially a fairly basic aspect of writing; from its pure origin, spelling has been essential to the progression of the English language and worldwide languages themselves, and for it to be relied upon technology signifies its impact on the world today, and essentially its impact on the growing students of the near future. Perhaps it could be being used simply because students are too lazy to fix it themselves, but even then, that could even be another piece of evidence of how people are too reliant on technology nowadays. Through the recent accessibility to countless Apple and Microsoft products equipped with Microsoft Word, there is a slim chance of spellcheck being abandoned any time near in the future.

And then of course, there is the internet itself. The essential global system that almost tyrannically seized the attention of the world in a matter of years. As arguably the smartest piece of technology, the internet has allowed us to perform abilities that could not have even been dreamt of 50 or 100 years prior to today. Its abilities to allow us to communicate across the world, chat and converse with friends you never thought you'd ever see again and at the same time allow us to access search engines that allow us to research and learn on our own have evidently contributed to the progress and advancement of the world. Based on the English language only, the use of the internet has increased by around 281% over the past 10 years. There are approximately 565,004,126 English internet users. Half of a billion people use the internet in the English language, with the Chinese language trailing not far behind, standing at a rate of 509,965,013 users. Together, there is already a result of 1 billion internet users, out of a population of 7 billion people, based on only two different languages. The world currently holds an average of 68 hours per month online, with the Google search engine holding the #1 most searched website. The incredible increase of internet usage and the significant statistic of internet users based off two languages essentially illustrates an idea of the vast number of people that use the internet in total. However, despite the large number, it isn't the amount of people that use it that signifies the dependency on technology; it's the increase of usage. In 10 years, it increased 281%. That statistic alone indicates a growing reliance on the abilities of the technological tools that we have been given to this day.

To this day, we have been given countless opportunities to explore and learn through the usage of technology. The Apple computers used at home and at school that provide us with access to work materials and applications are now used on an everyday basis. The world has changed through the introduction of the Technological Era that we live in. We are over reliant on our Facebook accounts and our text messaging and iPhones and Androids as a tool for ways of communication. We are over reliant on Spellcheck and technology itself to help solve basic errors of the English language. We are over reliant upon the idea that the internet can help us at anytime, anywhere. Technology. Perhaps you've heard of it. Technology. Perhaps we're living it.

For The Cause of My Current Youth and Forever Beyond,
mj2794 3 / 7 2  
Dec 8, 2013   #2
I think the essay is great and you did a very good job arguing your point. However, the way you end the essay with "Technology. Perhaps you've heard of it. Technology, Perhaps we're living it" sounds a bit awkward. Maybe, instead of repeating the word "technology" you could write:

"Technology. Perhaps you've heard it, perhaps we're living it"

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