Unanswered [1] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 3


Nowadays there are more opportunities for women than there were in the past.



handsome7boy 6 / 12  
Jan 26, 2014   #1
Nowadays there are more opportunities for women than there were in the past. Some people think this situation has caused more problems than it has solved.

What are your opinions on this?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Today's modern word, women's opportunities are a lot comparing to what there were in the past.
Some people say that this situation allowed women to do what they deserveto while some believe that it has posed much more problem than it has solved.And I am one of those people who are inclined to limit their power mildly.

Once upon a time, women's rights were significantly limited, and thanks for exemplary decision judged by Institution of Human Rights, women havemuch more freedom of choice hereupon.For instance, in the past, women were not allowed to participate elections because it was believed that women lacked ability of clear thinking. However, everything is remarkably changed; women have the rights to acquire any job position even though women had not had the rights to work for government in the past.

It is also worth mentioning that this situation has ailed some problems in our society and in the environment, and day by day it is becoming challenging to deal with these problems. Women have inadequate time to take of their children and shape their personality that is appropriate to moral issues due to their career they are trying to pursue to support their children by means of money. Furthermore, it is generally known that the vast number of car accidents is being committed by women as a result of their lack of confidence and attention.

In conclusion, women's opportunity should be restricted somehow by the time it produces bad effects in our society.Only when this action is organized, can children have a better future, and there will not be ripple effects.

what score would you give, guys?

yohooooo 2 / 5  
Jan 27, 2014   #2
Today'smodernword women's opportunities are a lot comparing to what there were in the past. - a bit like a tautology, plus first three words can be paraphrased by just one word " Currently ", and at last providing you want to compare two things, you can't use " a lot ", but " more".

why don't u begin with this one ?!
" It exists such indisputable fact that current women's opportunities outweigh ones they had before."
fikri 5 / 310  
Jan 27, 2014   #3
pay more attention with small mistakes such as comma, space, and so on


Home / Writing Feedback / Nowadays there are more opportunities for women than there were in the past.
Need Writing or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳

Academic AI Writer:
Custom AI Writer ◳