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Opposition to new ideas - Taking a position in a timed essay


summer 1 / 1  
Aug 10, 2008   #1
Topic: New ideas always face opposition by people

Time: 45 min.

Essay: An idea whether new or old is generally favoured if presented with clarity, contains enough details and it serves the public interest.

First, clarity is very basic component in presnting an idea, without which people will not understand the idea at all. In recent time we have seen how Barack Obama proved this fact by winning support of many people who would not have supported him otherwise. This has happened because of the clarity in his ideas and message.

Then, detail makes people feel comfortable with a new idea. Without enough details offered, lots of questions are raised and go unanswered. We have also seen how lot of people also raised doubts about his ideas for this very reason.

Finally, The new idea most likely be supported by people if it serves public interest directly. If somehow they feel that the presenter of the idea is only working for his or her personal interest, it would be fair for them to oppose it. We have seen in this case too that Obama's ideas are favoured as those are serving public interest directly.

Properly presenting an idea with all the important components in place is a must in order to achieve peoples support. Even an established idea may not get through if not presented properly.

Note: please rank this essay on a scale of 10 and advise me for further improvement.
Is it a fatal flaw to talk about politics in an essay test? Is it too short?

I should have posted it under essay writing feedback, but now it's too late to correct it.

EF_Team5 - / 1,586  
Aug 10, 2008   #2
Did you choose the topic or was it assigned? As far as a scale, I think as it sits now I would probably give it a five. If you are supposed to be writing an opinionated essay and taking a position about something, you need to do that. This essay is very vague and probably too short; you have many opportunitites to expand with examples and details, but you do not take them. Your topic to answer the prompt (if it is a prompt) is probably up to you choosing, unless you have been instructed otherwise. No matter what topic you choose, you need to thoroughly defend or at least make clear what your position is. I am not really sure without examples of how he has done so, what Obama has to do with presenting new ideas. I suggest if you want to keep him as your subject, you choose a new idea that you think he has presented clearly which you can use to illustrate your opinion and show your reader how he has met the criteria from the prompt.

"First, clarity is a very basic component in presenting an idea, without which people will not understand the idea at all. In Currently , we have seen how Barack Obama proved this fact by winning support of many people who would not have supported him otherwise. This has happened because of the clarity in his ideas and message. (Example? You could expand quite a bit here.)

Then, detailsmake people feel comfortable with a new idea. Without enough details offered (Remove comma) lots of questions can be raised and possibly go unanswered. We have also seen how many people also raised doubts about his ideas for this very reason. (How?)

Finally, t he new idea will most likely be supported by people if it serves public interest directly. If somehow they feel that the presenter of the idea is only working for his or her personal interest, it would be fair for them to oppose it. We have seen in this case too in that Obama's ideas are favoured as those which are serving public interest directly. (According to who? I doubt everyone thinks his ideas will serve the public's interest. If this is your belief and your position, you need to claim it.)

Properly presenting an idea with all the important components in place is a must in order to achieve people' s support. Even an established idea may not get through if not presented properly."
OP summer 1 / 1  
Aug 11, 2008   #3
I really appreciate your valuable comments. I am preparing for an essay writing test and picking differnt topics to write about. I will modify this one and send you again.


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