Unanswered [4] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 3


5 paragraph comparison/contrast essay on Arizona and Pennsylvania



abbys10 1 / 1  
Mar 31, 2011   #1
2 dialogue quotes needed. use a semicolon and a conjunctive adverb among samples in two different body paragraphs. no comma splices or run-ons.

"Where was the best place you've traveled to?' my friend asked me. I couldn't give him the answer because I travelled to 38 different states, but it was always either Pennsylvania or Arizona. I've lived in Pennsylvanis for 95 percent of my life, and I liked it until I went out on the road with my boyfriend. We drove through Arizona, and even though we were just passing through, I enjoyed it. Although both Pennsylvania and Arizona have beautiful scenery, they differ in culture, and in particular, the climate.

To begin, both Pennsylvania and Arizona are visually pleasing to the eye. For instance, Pennsylvania has rugged mountains covered in greenery throughout most, if not all, of the state. People driving west on I-80 from Bloomsburg during the spring,summer, and fall seasons may see the mountains covered in lucious greenery and/or the beautiful colors of the changing leaves. Similiarily, Arizona is mostly desert with beautifully shaped mesas;in addition, an Arizona sunset is absolutely beautiful. The first time i saw an Arizona sunset, I said to myself "Wow, this is nothing compared to the sunsets back in Pennsylvania." Whether your a resident, or just someone pasing through, both places are truly beautiful to see.

On the other hand, one of the differences between these two places is culture. For example, in Pennsylvania we have the amish and Pennsylvania Dutch. True amish make hand-crafted furniture, quilts, clothes, blankets, and much more. Conversely, in Arizona the culture is mostly american indian. People driving west on I-40 pass reservations throughout the state; also, people drive past stores that sell products made by the american indians. Although you can buy products from both cultures, the products and the way they are made are extremely different.

In particular, the biggest difference of all is the climate. To illustrate, in Pennsylvania the temperature doesn't normally exceed 100 degrees; however, in the winter seasons it can drop below zero in some places of Pennsylvania. On the contrary, in Arizona the temperature during most of the year us high; in addition, only higher elevations get snow. People living in Flagstaff, AZ may have snow, while people living in Yuma, Arizona may not have anything.

Although these two states are both similar and different, they allowed me to experience the different lives people live. I never thought that Arizona was, in some cases, totally different from what I grew accustomed to. I have learned a lot from being in these two states, and I'm glad I decided to expand my "horizons". For the most part, I recall driving down the roads telling my boyfriend, "If they can put both places together, I'd love to live there."

butterbescotch 6 / 41  
Apr 2, 2011   #2
I couldn't give him the answer I guess its gave?

I've lived in Pennsylvania for 95 percent of my life, I think you should use the word "most" instead pf a statistical word.

Although these two states are both similar and different, they allowed me to experience the different lives people live. I think you should say there even though the differences, you still managed to enjoy, appreciate or adore both of the place.

-----------------

Check for typographical errors. They exist.

Nice ending.
EF_Susan - / 2310  
Apr 3, 2011   #3
I'll add "had"----> I couldn't give him the answer because I had traveled to...

... 38 different states, but it was always either Pennsylvania or Arizona. ----I don't understand what you mean. What was always PA or AZ????

Although these two states are similar in many way, experiencing the contrast between them enabled me to experience...

:-) Nice! You write with a nice rhythm. I think you should google "imagery words" and "action verbs," and try to add more of those to your writing.


Home / Writing Feedback / 5 paragraph comparison/contrast essay on Arizona and Pennsylvania
Do You Need
Academic Writing
or Editing Help?
Need professional help with your assignments? Fill out one of these forms:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳