IELTS Task 1. Parcels delivered by Federal Express and TNT Mail Services

The line graph highlights information about the changing number of parcels distributed by two service companies (Federal Express and TNT Mail Services) between 1920 and 2000.

Overall, those companies delivered between 5000 and 25000 parcels over the period. Clearly, while Fed Ex showed a great fluctuation in parcel number, TNT showed grown tendency during those years.

For a more detail look at the graph reveals that initially, TNT brought 5000 parcels while Federal Express delivered threefold packages. From 1920 to 1940, both companies experienced improvement parcels number, however Federal Express increased more extensively than TNT and peaked in the end of that particular period. Since that year, the gap between them were narrowing, even in 1960 the lines met each other when they both delivered approximately 12000. Then, the gap was widening again and met the furthest distance in 1980. Following this, parcels delivered by TNT inclined sharply while Fed Ex decrease extremely smooth thus they met again in 1990, those delivered around 17000 goods. After that year, TNT continued to grow, whereas Fed Ex tended to be stagnant.

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  Parcels_delivered_by.jpg
  

The line graph highlights information about the changing number of parcels distributed by two servicecourier companies, Federal Express and TNT Mail Services, between 1920 and 2000.

Overall, those companieseach company delivered between 5000 and 25000 parcels over the period. Clearly, while Fed Ex showed a great fluctuation in parcel numberdelivery while(no comma) TNT showed growna growing tendency during those years.

This is too bulky. Therefore, it interrupts the flow of the sentences.

You should focus on the layout which presents the 4 paragraph essay then. This is good for someone who wants to earn a good score, up to a band of 6.

But no worries..., 3, 4, 5 or even 6 paragraphs are fine. As long as you write, you will have the band :D
You have the ball in your court now. Good luck for the exam!

Single graphs
Introduction: Here you should state what the graph shows
short body paragraph: state the most important piece of information here (summary/overview)
main body paragraphs: Here you need to make comparisons and state the important features of the graphs (usually 2 paragraphs)

This detail body para is too bulky. Slim it down and have two body paras. :) Have some logic to separate paras. You can have one for describing the trends of both TNT and Federal Express and the next para for contrasting them. Or you can have one for TNT and the other for Federal Express. It is always good to have two paras instead of one :)