Parents? It depends on the circumstances of the child, to determine who is the best teacher

I am preparing for IELTS can you please comment on my essay
Parents make the best teachers.Do you agree or disagree with this statement.Explain your answer.

A good teacher or a good mentor is the one who guides the child how to live a successful life.I donot agreee to the statement that parents are always the best teachers.In my opinion, it depends on the circumstances of the child, to determine who is his or her best teacher.In some cases the best teacher may be the child's school teacher or in some other case it may be the child's friend or even someone else.

Children learn most of the lessons of life from their parents,of which some are good and some are bad.For instance from an alcoholic parent he or she may learn the bad habit of alcoholism.In another case, where if the parents are constantly fighting with each other, the thoughts of hate or fear may take deep roots in the child's subconsious mind.Likewise from an uneducated parent the child may accquire many misconcepts about life itself.These are some of the instances where parents becomes bad teachers for their children.

On the other hand, School teachers,friends or even books have their own or its own influence on children's life.A wise school teacher can always be a good mentor to a child. For instance,a wise and knowledable teacher can help the child to choose his or her apt carrier. He or she can also guide the child in life's difficult situations.In some situation it may be the friend who helps to overcome one's bad habits.In some other circumstance it may be the ideas from a book, the child read, that hepls him or her to overcome the challenge.The books like "Toughtimes never last But tough people do","Positive living" ,Born to win etc, are examples of books which can teach one, a great deal about how to become successful in life. Another excellent example of a good mentor was none other than Swami Vivekananda, who was a guru to millions of people alround the world.

To summerize it is unfair to state that parents make the best teachers.As mensioned earlier it clearely depends on the situations or circumstances of the child to determine who is his or her best teacher.

I think you have very good points in your essay. I enjoyed reading it.
There are few mistakes I found;

In some other circumstance it may be the ideas from a book, the child read, that hepls him or her to overcome the challenge.

Another excellent example of a good mentor was none other than Swami Vivekananda, who was a guru to millions of people alroundall around the world.

To summerizeconclude (better say conclude) it is unfair to state that parents make the best teachers

Goof luck with IELTS

Hi,
Your essay is good. Pls see what I suggest;

In another case, where if the parents are constantly fighting with each other, the thoughts of hate or fear may take deep roots into the child's subconsious mind.

On the other hand, School teachers,friends or even books have their own or its owncan greatly influence on children's life.

As mensionedmentioned earlier it clearely depends on the situations or circumstances of the child to determine who is his or her best teacher.

Hi

He or she can also guide the child when the child faceslife's difficult situations in life . In some situations, it may be the friend who helps to overcome one's bad habits.In some other circumstances it may be the ideas from a book, that the child reads , thatwhich hepls him or her to overcome the challenge.

Hi George,

I have changed the first paragraph of the essay, hoping that you can read it and grasp some of the reasons why I have made some of the changes. Perhaps it might help you if you were to read "The Elements of Style," as I see that you have at least formatted the essay with some reason. Go over the first paragraph and then get back with us. I think that you are on the right track!

A good teacher or a good mentor is the one who guides the child how to live a successful life.I donot agreee to the statement that parents are always the best teachers.In my opinion, it depends on the circumstances of the child, to determine who is his or her best teacher.In some cases the best teacher may be the child's school teacher or in some other case it may be the child's friend or even someone else.

--> Try this: A good teacher or a good mentor is one who is available to guide a child and teach him how to live a successful life. Personally, I do not agree with the statement that parents are always the best teachers. In my opinion, it all depends on many of the child's circumstances, and in some cases, the best teacher for a child may be the child's school teacher or in some other cases, it can be the child's friend or even someone else.