Many people agree that education should be compulsory to all children until a certain age

obligatory education or not?

The age to entering academic training is of great concern to children's parents. While most people agree that education is obligatory for children at certain ages, others believe that everyone has their personal right to choose the time to start official education. In this essay, I will discuss both sides of the argument and elaborate on my opinion.

There are two underlying reasons why giving children to have intensive schooling at the right age is considered an optimal choice for most parents. First, children should be furnished with knowledge at a suitable time which is proved to help them develop intellect comprehensively. For example, English is allowed to be taught to children at kindergarten because it strengthens their memory and mindset. Moreover, stimulating children's interest in learning at an early age makes a contribution to maintain their good studying habits. In addition, education is regarded as one of the best ways to ensure children's career prospects in the future. Equipped with knowledge, children will have a positive attitude and behavior toward life.

On the other hand, each people's learning process depends on various key factors. The fact that whether people begin to enter education early or late is reliant on not only their families' financial condition but their physical and mental health background as well. Typically, parents tend to let their children go to school a certain period later than others do in the light of their health condition from birth. In addition, the low rate of educational participants is prone to be seen in poor rural areas or underdeveloped countries. Besides that reason, the time to leave school is also influenced by individuals' choices. Some people choose to learn vital skills from hands-on experience in place of academic subjects. That is their orientation to their future career path which deserves to be respected.

To conclude, compulsory education and the freedom to attend academic training have their undeniable advantages. In my point of view, these two methods of education should be integrated by the government to function most effectively.

The writer must be concerned with the number of words that he uses to complete his discussion. He must remember that this is a mere opinion statement and not a comprehensive discussion. It should be completed within 250 to 300 words. Owing to the 40 minute time limit and the need to edit, proofread, and finalize the content of the essay, he should not be writing more than the aforementioned number of words.

The overwriting can be prevented starting in the first paragraph by not altering the simple thought presentation of the original. His version includes superfluous discussion points that are not a part of the reference material. He is actually changing the discussion basis by adding personal thoughts and sentiments in the restatement portion. Not that he is not allowed to do this because he actually is allowed to that, just in the personal opinion presentation + reasoning topics. By merely changing the position of the sentiments, the writer goes from score reducing (due to irrelevant information) to score increasing (based on opinion clarity via supporting reasons).

When discussing the public opinions, the writer needs to work harder on making it clear that he is explaining the public reasons for supporting or not supporting the reasons provided. This is done by differentiating the reference point. The use of third party pronouns will actually be beneficial when doing this. It is important to separate the presentation views because the writing instruction clearly indicates that need. By not doing so, the writer does not follow the correct presentation format. The personal opinion, presented as a stand alone paragraph will benefit the most from the correct first person reference points as well. These will help create a comprehensive short discussion presentation.

A discussion does not need to be very long. It just need to meet the writing requirements regarding opinion clarity, proper word usage, and grammar rules. When an essay becomes too wordy, the writer sacrifices these scoring considerations, opening himself up to more errors and being unable to correct them in the process. In truth, I could go on reviewing this essay deduction point by deduction point but that would be best addressed by a private consultation with me.

You need to give at least 2 sentence explaining your viewpoints before giving an example as the example will consolidate what you have expressed above.