IELTS Writing Task 2: Some people believe that reading stories from a book is better than watching TV or playing computer games for children. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
A significant number of individuals argue that reading stories in paperback/on print have more advantages for children than watching TV or playing video games. Personally, I completely agree with this view.
There are two positive reasons that children reading stories from a book is better than watching TV or playing computer games. Firstly, reading stories on paperback encourages youngsters to gain a lot of new knowleged. Each of the stories in a book have a meaningful implication, so this story could bring many life lessons for children when they read them. This can be explained by the fact that Cinderella Stories contains lessons such as: must to be on time, the love between people, and advice people should live with kindness to access happiness. As a result, children have a chance to broaden their horizons and develop literary appreciation skills useful in later life. Secondly, reading stories has become a regular habit to strengthen family. For example, many parents used to read stories for their babies before bedtime. This allows children to easily go to sleep and such stories tend to stick in one's mind longer than watching videos or playing a computer game.
By contrast, watching TV or playing computer games may have a negative impact on children. To be specific, it is detrimental to spend time watching television or playing video games. Because it could lead to health issues including myopia and obesity. In fact, the research indicates that obesity and eye problems rate are significantly increasing in the youngsters. Another factor is that hours spent on computer games or watching TV discourages real interaction, which is important because youngsters need to relate personally to others. This is impossible if they are glued to a screen which occupies all their attention.
In conclusion, for the reasons I have mentioned above, I strongly believe that reading stories from a book is better than allowing children to watch TV or playing computer games.
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4857 An argument is not the same as a belief. The original prompt referred to the belief of some people, you used the word argue in its place when you rewrote it. That is the incorrect synonym to be using in the sentence. You actually changed the discussion focus so you will receive deductions for that in terms of task accuracy. While your opinion is in line with the response expectation, the lack of a short reasoning presentation will affect the score for that paragraph. Your discussion paragraphs are well developed. In fact, these are over developed presentations that you may not be able to finish within the 40 minute time frame during the actual test. Try to keep your explanations short and well connected. You need to use more transitional phrases or words in your paragraphs to create a better scoring chance.
