Unanswered [1] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 2


Some people believe that it is the responsibility of individuals to take care of their own health



hoangmanhcuong 1 / -  
May 29, 2021   #1

are individuals accountable for their health or not?



It is a well-documented fact that an increasing number of people over the world are drawing attention to taking care of health. While there are some people who strongly believe that individuals are accountable for their health, others claim that it is a government's responsibility to keep city drawers fit. Therefore, some major arguments both for and against this issue will be addressed in the following paragraphs.

On the one hand, each person has a responsibility to take care of his well-being should be taken into account . Firstly it is commonly believed that everyone's health is difficult and one knows exactly what is beneficial for his body and what is not. Based on the report provided by that individuals have to look up productions, which is beneficial for their health. For instance, people should avoid consuming unhealthy food such as junk food, soft drinks which lead to a higher risk of contracting cardiovascular disease. Moreover everyone should do more exercise and build up their muscles. Apart from that, people must sweep away bad habits such as drinking alcohol, stick to the computer for a long time or stay up late.

On the other hand, there are two primary points for other people to defend the view that authorities should make sure that citizens are healthy. First and foremost, it is undeniable that governments should allocate more funds to the maintenance of existing fitness facilities as well as the construction of new ones. This is supported by the fact that authorities collaborate with nonprofit organisations to set up chain new sport centres and encourage city dwellers to build up their strength and stamina with reasonable prices which enhance the citizen's sporting spirit. In addition, authorities should prohibit production and selling some items, which are harmful for fitness. The governments should fine people who smoke cigarettes in public heavily and tax some companies, which produce unhealthy commodities, highly.

In conclusion, from the above explanation, individuals and government share equally duties, to ensure a healthy life and well-being.

Holt  Educational Consultant - / 15344  
May 30, 2021   #2
The prompt for this essay falls under the 3 paragraph requirement based on the writing instruction "Discuss both points of view and give your opinion". As such, the TA score, and the final score for that matter, cannot achieve a passing score. You failed to discuss the necessary requirements under the stipulated format. Why did this happen? You somehow, either through actual intent , or understanding error changed the discussion requirements. The discussion went from an analysis of 2 public pov and a personal perspective to :

some major arguments both for and against this issue will be addressed in the following paragraphs.

This is a prompt deviation that totally altered the original instructions. You should have reviewed the prompt again for your writing adherence prior to deciding that you addressed the topic concerns properly. There is no clear reflection of public perception in your writing, only a personal point of view. The essay became a 1 sided opinion response rather than the expected 3 paragraph analysis of public and private beliefs on thetopic.


Home / Writing Feedback / Some people believe that it is the responsibility of individuals to take care of their own health
Do You Need
Academic Writing
or Editing Help?
Need professional help with your assignments? Fill out one of these forms:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳