Unanswered [3] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback % width   Posts: 2


People would always choose a life without work rather than working most of the time. Agree/ disagree



John Pham 1 / -  
Nov 24, 2024   #1
People have different views about If they have to select a life without work or become a workaholic, they would prefer a life free from work. While I accept that people are more partial to freedom, I opine that work will bring essential benefits to people's lives.
On the one hand, there are several rationales for the fact that a life escaping from work is a favorable choice for many people. The first reason for this is that people nowadays are suffering from the pressure of work. leading to many mental health problems such as: stress, depression, fatigue or even death. For example, social media has reported that a young girl in India died due to being forced to work too hard. As a result, this phenomenon has been influencing significantly on people's desire to have a free life in their own way. Furthermore, without work, people can spend their quality time for family and social life, which can be restricted by work obligations. Indeed, an autonomous life brings more opportunities to build and maintain good relationships.
On the other hand, I firmly hold the opinion that work offers favorable aspects to human life. The first advantage is the financial stability, which is one of the most remarkable elements in the development economy of a country. This is because a stable job contributes largely to reducing the gap between the rich and the poor. To illustrate, When people have a well-paid job, they can use their income for serving personal demands without receiving any government grant or parents allowance. Meanwhile, unemployment leads to wealth inequality deeply. Another benefit is that the working environment provides a sense of community to people, which means people can work and interact as well as develop their careers together. As a consequence, the networking is expanded among them. This is a crucial factor devoted to the development of each individual in particular and for the whole society in general. Because no one can live and succeed by themselves without help from those around them.
To conclude, while many people think that a life without work offers them independence and contentment. I still believe that having a job that is worth immersing is not only useful for each person, but also for the whole society.

Holt  Educational Consultant - / 15404  
Nov 25, 2024   #2
The prompt restatement is confusing. You seem to have suddenly changed the information presentation in the first sentence. Almost as if there are 2 separate ideas that you tried to represent in one sentence. That created a confusing prompt restatement. It will definitely lead the paragraph to gain a failed TA and C+C, as well as, a failed GRA score in the preliminary consideration. The confusing presentation did not help bring clarity and strength to your personal opinion sentence. Since you have accurately indicated that you have a single opinion for this presentation, as it required by the official discussion format, you will receive a failed essay score because you decided to support both opinions in your discussion section. The expectation is that you will convince the reader that your opinion is correct by presenting 2 supporting discussion paragraphs. Since you opposed your own opinion, you will then get an overall score in the TA section that considers how your opinion is now unclear to the reader.


Home / Writing Feedback / People would always choose a life without work rather than working most of the time. Agree/ disagree
Need Writing or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳

Academic AI Writer:
Custom AI Writer ◳