living with friends vs living alone
It's believed that the trend that people tend to live with their friends or live on by themselves instead of living together with their family may affect the society negatively. Personally, I think agree with this statement because of many reasons.
On the one hand, I think we still can gain benefits from living with friends or alone. We have to separate from our families to learn how to live on our own, be self-reliant. In fact, if we live alone we can learn to cook, to wash things which we don't need to do when we live at parents' home.
On the other hand, not living with family is negative with people who depend on their parents too much. For instance, these people are often "mother's darlings". So, when they choose to live with friends or alone, they still lack of some skills and have to rely on others. That affect the community badly. Additionally, some people have bad sides inside them so that they always want to go far away from their family to make crimes. Because parents always keep eyes on them, they can't do what they want. Moreover, if we live outside not parents' house, it means we have to buy another house, flat or department. That is a waste of money and it also contribute in the problem of lacking of accommodation in some big cities.
In closing, everything has its two sides like a coin, and so living with friends or living alone. According to me, I ensure that the drawbacks of separating from family outweigh the perks.
Holt Educational Consultant - / 15460 I am afraid to review this essay for prompt responsiveness because there are 2 task 2 essay prompts that are similar in theme to the essay referred to in your work. I do not wish to hazard a guess regarding the content because if I do that, I might be wrong in the topic I choose to analyze your essay with and offer you the wrong advice in the process. I'll render a general review of your essay instead, covering the points that should be fixed in your next essay. Kindly remember to upload the prompt next time so that I can offer you a more complete review of your work.
Since this is an agree or disagree statement, your essay must focus on only one point of view discussion due to clarity and coherence issues. You must focus on strengthening you actual POV within 2 reasoning paragraphs. This is done by using 2 related reasons within the 2 paragraphs. However, your essay uses the phrase "I think" in the presentation. This means you do not have a clear point of view as required by the prompt. You are asked "Do you agree or disagree?" that means, you have to pick only one side of the topic to discuss. When you see the word "OR" in the essay, that means you have the option to discuss one or the other topic. You can never choose both.
The discussion slant of your essay needs to show that you have an understanding of the topic through your single opinion. The dis/agree essay is always a single point of view defense. However, when you are asked to "present both opinions and discuss your opinion" , then you can use the comparative or A/D discussion format for your response. Your discussion format is incorrect and will be scored down because of it.
The main problems of your essay are:
- You do not offer a solid opinion regarding the question asked
- You use a neutral rather than opinionated discussion in relation to one point of view in response to the given statement and question
- Your prompt paraphrase and concluding recap are 1 sentence short of the minimum sentence requirement
The phrase "According to" is misused in this sentence. The phrase is used when you are referring to some information which was previously indicated by someone else. You cannot say "according to me" because you are not someone else. Your GRA score will be lowered for the wrong sentence structure. The proper way to use the phrase is : According to Joey, Mike took the ice cream because..." When you use the phrases improperly, the GRA score will be affected, the same is true for vocabulary usage. Wrong word usage loses points in the LR section.
Now, there are several other problems with your essay but these are the mistakes that will definitely have an increased points deduction effect on your individual and final scoring considerations in this task.
