TOEFL ESSAY:-People learn things better from those at their own level

Topic:
People learn things better from those at their own level - such as fellow students or co-workers - than from those at a higher level, such as teachers or supervisors.

Answer:
In common, people always like to work in a group with similar ages or having similar thoughts. Since each individual can think and response in a similar way as others in the cluster. So it is easy for them to exchange ideas and ask doubts without any hesitation. I indeed agree with the given statement because of few reasons: people with similar thoughts and ideas, no apprehension and hesitation to ask doubt, easy accessibility.

First and foremost, people with similar ages can understand the problem of each other very easily. A professor or teacher may not get the exact doubt of a student what he really thought about it. Because there is a chance for the teacher to think in a higher level than what the student think. But at the same time, a student having similar thoughts can easily understand the doubt of an another student. In my own experience, during my college days, most of my doubts were cleared by my colleagues. Since they could get what I really felt about one thing.

Secondly, we don't have an apprehension or hesitation to ask our doubt or learn new things from our colleagues. Sometimes we might have hesitation to ask our doubt to an authority because we think it is a stupid doubt. We might have an anxiety that what they really think about me. For example, people are not willing to ask a doubt like 'how a baby is made' to a teacher or a supervisor. But we always feel comfortable when dealing with our friends.

Thirdly, we can learn better from our colleagues those whom we enjoy being around. Because, when these people try to teach us something, it will be in relaxed, friendly atmosphere with no pressure.If we are relaxed, then we can learn better.

Additionally, our colleagues can be accessible at any time. Normally, we spend most of our time with our friends or colleagues. So we can learn new things from them at any time. For example, if we have a doubt in our lesson at a midnight before the day of university exam, we can easily clear our doubt by calling our friends without any fear.

To sum up, I think it is comfortable and easier for a person to learn new things from an individual who think in a similar way as him. The above reasons and arguments in fact justify the given statement.

1.people like to work in group with others who are the same age and have similar thoughts.
the objects in your first sentence is age and thoughts. the right object should be people.
2. last sentence in your first paragraph has some minor grammar problems.
i think this one maybe better"people hold similar views are more agreeable since there is no apprehension or hesitation to ask doubt.
3.a professor or teacher may not get the exact doubt of what a student really think about.
4.the reasons are too short to be eloquent. the content would be better if the argumentation is more sufficient.

...well, your prompt talks about the level and not demographics or ideologies. This level means that people of same functional capacity such as co-workers, fellow students etc. There may be co-workers who belong to different age groups. You need to understand what your prompt suggests and then keep your writing aligned with that.

.... yes... dumi is right ... your prompt does not refer to people of same age... it can be and cannot be both. So it is good if you do not specify.


Secondly, we are free to express ourselves when we are among the peers. On the other hand, we tend to hesitate to express our feelings or doubts in front of our superiors because we fear the consequences.

I think you should link simple sentences by using connectors or relative clauses. your structures are quite simple with many short sentences. moreover, you should avoid repeating words many times. try to use synonyms or another expression.