Topic : Modern forms of communication such as email and messaging have reduced the amount of time people spend seeing their friends. This has had a negative effect on their social lives .
Nowadays , modern technology becomes more and more developing , which leds to appear modern forms of communication such as email and messaging .However,It is uncertain that causes a negative effect on their social lives .
Modern kinds of communication can bring people some convenient things . If people stay in a place that is far from their relative and friends , they can contact with these people more easily and quickly.For example, when I go to the UK to study and feel missing home , I can chat with my parents by skype . I can know about their life ,although I don't live in Vietnam .Besides, there are a lot of applications giving beautiful icon emotions to use during talking . So people feel interested and comfortable to communicate with others .
On the other hand , sometime communication modernly is too harmful to people .Modern forms of communication have reduced the amount of time people spend on talking to their friends directly . People get lazier to go out to see their friends and depend on technology too much.These things have a bad impact on their social lives , because people can not discriminate between bad people and good people by chatting on the Internet .People can give you lies simply and show you artificial emotions .
In conclusion , it is difficult to argue that modern communication effect on people 's social life negatively . But I think people should control their dependence and contact with their friends by email , messaging or something like that when the cases are really neccessary .
( you think I can how many scores in Ielts ?)
Zelly, welcome to EssayForum :) This is a valuable place to enhance your writing skill by giving peer-corrections to other members' essays, especially in IELTS. I hope that after you get a constructive feedback, you will be able to share your insight towards other people too. However, if you need a score estimation, I would be happy to try to give you one.
In IELTS, there are four scoring criteria, such as Task Response/Achievement, Coherence and Cohesion, Lexical Resource, and Grammatical range and Accuracy. Those criteria are equally valuable and interdependent towards each other. Unfortunately, marking your task response or achievement is really difficult, since you didn't give the question of the essay. I encounter a difficulty to see whether your essay has already answered the question or not. Therefore, I would like to assess your grammatical range and accuracy only because it is the most noticeable part in your essay.
It is unfortunate that you made frequent errors in grammar and punctuation, and this errors confused the reader. You also tried to made some complex sentences, but sadly those sentences tend to be less accurate than simple sentences. These errors indicate that your essay had limited range of structures. Therefore, based on those errors, I'm sorry to say that this essay cannot go beyond 5.0. However, do not think that my assessment is valid, because this is just a prediction. Keep struggling for the next practice :)
