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Percentage of mobile phone sales in the world, IELTS Task 1.



nsahmad 11 / 14  
Nov 25, 2015   #1
A breakdown of the proportion of mobile phone sales worldwide between 2005 and 2006 is presented in the table. Overall, it can be seen that all of mobile phone types revealed a minimal change over the time. In any case, although the worldwide market share has been dominated by Nokia, there was a sharp increase in the percentage sales.

To begin, the most popular device in the beginning period was Nokia, at 32,5 % market share. Compared with selling of Motorola and Other brands presented less than 20%, so the gap between these mobile had widened range of sales. Interestingly, both of them saw a rapid rise by 30% in the next a year. In the same time, Nokia was still recorded as the highest sales in the worldwide market share.

Turning to the remaining brands, starting at under 15% all of types showed a various change. There was a minimal growth in Sony Ericsson market share to 7,4% in 2006. In contrast, Samsung, L.G and BenQ Mobile represented a sharp down, even one of them became the lowest percentage in the worldwide market share in the last period.


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Bayuwibowo 48 / 62  
Nov 25, 2015   #2
Hello brother :)
Glad to see you there.
Although you presented a very good essay, let me try to polish some of your sentence.

-In any case, although the worldwide market share has been dominated by Nokia, there was a sharp increase in the percentage sales.
In my point of views, you failed to make a contrary in this sentence. "Although" words should be used to compare something contrast.

In any case, although the user of Nokia mobile phone dominated in the timetable, Motorolla sales experienced a considerable increase among all brand.

-To begin, the most popular device in the beginning period was Nokia, SOLELY at 32,5 % market share
-Compared with selling POINT of Motorola and Other brands presented less than 20%

Hope it helps..


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